The Southern Vampire Mysteries - Charlaine Harris

I finished all of Charlaine Harris’s Southern Vampire Mysteries books in December. Well, all of the books that she has published to date. After enjoying the HBO series TrueBlood, I realized I needed to read the books upon which the television show was based. I have posted a bit about my fascination with TrueBlood. I find the television show strangely addicting, with quirky characters and an interesting spin on vampire lore. I was not sure what I would find in the books about Sookie Stackhouse.

Well, the books were even more addictive than the television series! Luckily, I bought the first seven books in a bundle for my Ereader on my phone: Dead Until Dark, Living Dead in Dallas, Club Dead, Dead to the World, Dead as a Doornail, Definitely Dead, and Altogether Dead. So I obsessively read one book after another in any free time I had. I read through lunches, in waiting rooms, during my daughter’s karate classes, and after they went to bed. I probably read all seven in a few days! Then after I finished book seven I went through withdrawal, until I located a copy of Book 8: From Dead to Worse, as an audio book for free download from my local library. (And that was interesting, I am not sure I would have liked it as much if I hadn’t already read the first seven. I just did not care for the voice of the person reading the book and she made Sookie seem trashier and less intelligent somehow.) However, now I am depressed, with no more books to obsessively read until the ninth book comes out in May, Dead and Gone. Although I did read the first chapter at Charlaine Harris’s website: http://www.charlaineharris.com/deadandgone.html

The series is a first-person account of Sookie Stackhouse's life as a barmaid and telepath in the fictional town of Bon Temps, Louisiana. The series is full of quirky characters, the most interesting is always Sookie, herself. Sookie is a telepath and her ability to read minds leads her on some fascinating and scary adventures and we learn throughout the books about all the various kinds of supernatural (or “supes”) beings that inhabit the human world. In addition to the vampires, there are shapeshifters of various types, faeries, and more. The twists and turns of navigating the supernatural world when you are human is pretty fascinating and Charlaine Harris must have a fantastic imagination and creative mind. In spite of the interesting supernatural characters, Sookie is by far the most fascinating character. You would think an uneducated Southern White barmaid to be pretty boring, but Sookie is intelligent, loyal, strong, passionate, and very human. She makes mistakes but ultimately does amazing things. I love characters with real feelings and flaws who triumph in the end. I would recommend this series to anyone unreservedly.

Snow Day

My wonderful husband had the great idea to take a spontaneous trip to the snow today. We got up early, drove to Big Bear, and spent the day at Snow Valley. We did not go to ski this trip, but spent the day at their sled park. The sled park is a big hill with multiple toboggan-style sled runs. They provide big sleds roomy enough for two and…a snow lift! It is the best part of sledding with half the work! No dragging sleds or kids up steep hills! And the ski lift is fun in itself, with great views and peace between speedy sled runs. The girls had a fabulous time and so did I. The only down side was the traffic to get to Big Bear the last few miles up into the mountain. I hope we can afford a ski trip this year, but sledding is pretty fun to and takes very little skill!

Sofia’s Fieldtrip to See Bolt at the El Capitan

Sofia went on her first major fieldtrip today at the preschool. She did go to the pumpkin patch in October but today her school took a trip down to Hollywood to the El Capitan Theatre to see Bolt in 3D. She seemed to enjoy it but I keep finding myself questioning the school’s choice for a fieldtrip. For those of you who have never been to the El Capitan, it is a bit of an experience: a movie theatre in the “old style” run by Disney. The theatre is grand with a fantastic multiple opening curtain and in addition, they usually have some sort of floorshow prior to the performance. When we saw HSM3, the show was lame with some kids chosen to do a game for prizes. For Bolt, there was a big Christmas-themed live action show with Disney characters, dancers, and even some Princesses.

It can be a fun but expensive experience. Open seating starts around $15. They have reserved VIP seating that runs around $25, I think. I can see this as a good venue for a fieldtrip, but not really for a bunch of 3- and 4-year-olds! Why take a large group of little kids, put them on a school bus for an hour drive to a movie theatre in the heart of Hollywood only to put them back on the bus for another hour drive home. I just do not get it. My daughter would have been excited about a trip to the local Regal to see Bolt as long as she could ride on a bus. Perhaps I am just a Scrooge, but I do not get it!

To Quote a Friend, "I've lost that blogging feeling."

Where has the month gone? I was so motivated to blog every day in November and now it has been half a month since I blogged at all! I can only plead the holidays but really I know from November that if I were committed to daily blogging I would have found the time. I will work on finding some peaceful place in between blogging daily and blogging infrequently.

I have been busy getting ready for Christmas. I put up the tree and Carlos put up the outside lights. The girls helped me decorate the tree. That means many ornaments in big bunches. It still looks beautiful. I'll try to post some pictures. I have most of the shopping done and just have a lot of wrapping to do. I need to get prepared for Christmas Eve dinner. All-in-all, I am feeling more prepared than overwhelmed at present.

The Last Blog Post

of NaBloPoMo 2008 that is! I, for one, am so happy because it was kind of hard. But I survived and I did blog every day for an entire month. I hope I did not subject anyone to too many boring posts. I do feel that there were some posts that were a waste of my time and yours and I am not sure every post was either entertaining or meaningful in some way and to be honest, I'd love to accomplish both in every post.

I am not sure I will continue to blog daily. I think it is a worthwhile goal. Although blogging may allow me to get my thoughts out there, I need to focus on living and many days I just don't have time to blog. I do feel I improve with practice and perhaps in time I can better carry on with a daily blogging goal with better grace and output. But for now, this blog will return to a blog post every few days schedule. Thanks for bearing with me if you have been along for the ride.

Belated Turkey Day

I was trying to think of something meaningful to blog about today and still seem to be struggling. I spent most of the day catching up on laundry and cooking a belated Thanksgiving dinner. I made roast turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, smashed sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, and pumpkin pie. I so wish I could actually cook Thanksgiving dinner but can't seem to make it work with other family commitments so I usually cook my own turkey dinner belatedly. I invited my parents and they seemed to enjoy it but that could be because they were served tacos at their Thanksgiving meal on Thursday (I should blog about that but am afraid to offend the family!).

I want to keep working on my gratitude initiative but am finding it difficult today when I cooked all day, watched 2 kids, and then still had to clean everything up myself. Well let's try...I am thankful I could afford to cook a roast turkey dinner just because I felt like it. I am thankful I have a family with whom to enjoy my dinner. I am thankful all the dishes are done.

It's Black Friday

or the day after Thanksgiving and I just could not make myself go shopping. I did drive to the mall but made my mom stay in the car with the girls so I could run in and pick up our pictures from J C Penney Photo Studio. I did buy a few things on amazon.com (one of my favorite stores). I wonder who actually does brave the stores on Black Friday and do they actually obtain monetary savings that are worth their effort. It sure isn't me. I don't even like shopping when there aren't crowds. I'd love to be able to avoid any shopping trips from Thanksgiving until after New Years.

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! I am full of turkey and pumpkin pie but I wanted to take some time to review what I am thankful for today. Did you ever have to relate what you were thankful for at Thanksgiving dinner? I am not sure when gratitude took a back seat to turkey but for me a goal I am working on is cultivating thankfulness back into my life so let's start today.

I am thankful for my family. My smart and beautiful husband. My bright sweet Emma and my energetic loving Sofia. My helpful and supportive parents.

I am thankful for my job that allows me to help others and support my family with what we need to survive and to thrive.

I am thankful for my many wonderful friends who seem to understand I love them more than I ever say or show.

I am thankful for a comfortable home which helps me feel safe and at peace most days.

I am thankful for the beauty in our environment, the sky, the mountains, the ocean. The earth is a beautiful place.

I am thankful for books. I love them all. They have given me much joy for many years.

I am thankful for Jeopardy. I know it is silly but it makes me feel good when I know more questions than the contestants!

I am thankful for the invention of Ipods, my treo, podcasts, and other technology.

I am thankful for sleep and plan to enjoy that activity right now. Good night!

Gratitude

I have been thinking about gratitude. There appears to be more and more research showing that being grateful or counting your blessings is a more direct path to happiness. I have read the studies and perhaps I'll try to summarize it in a blog later but today I was noticing a more real life observation.

I noticed today that every day I drive my car and I frequently think, "I love my car!" Now, I do love my car but I don't usually have this recurrent thought on a daily basis. However, since I blogged about my car, this fact has changed. Counting the things I love about my car has cemented and perhaps magnified my auto love.

I am thinking about experimenting with this experience and doing some future blogs about feelings I'd like to cultivate. I will share the outcome in time. But perhaps you might like to try this yourself. Blog about someone you should appreciate more like a friend, relative, a husband. Blog about your stressful job. Remind yourself about the good things around you rather than your complaints.

All I Want for Christmas...

Is my baby's two front teeth! Emma lost her other front tooth just a few days after the first. Actually, she probably doesn't want them to grow in any time soon. She seems quite proud of her gap-toothed grin.

My biking babe

We took the girls out to ride bikes again yesterday. Emma is making amazing progress on riding without training wheels. She started the day quite wobbly but eventually had Carlos just running along the bike.

Easy Rider or How to Face your Fears

I don't recall if I have blogged at all on my husband's motorcycle. Bought a few years ago, it has pretty quickly become his favorite activity. Touring is his favorite pastime and he like to take long rides. His most recent was a long ride to Monterey for a business trip.

I am not sure how I feel about the motorcycle. Ultimately, I believe my husband is an adult and it is his right to do what pleases him. However, it does scare the crap out of me. I see many clients with horrible injuries or chronic pain thanks to a motorcycle. I do know Carlos is responsible and and he is not careless when he rides.

The fact that my husband rides a motorcycle is actually easier to live with than his interest in me riding with him.

Now riding on the back of a motorcycle is not without pleasure. It can be exhilarating to feel the speed and the wind. However, you also have NO control. You aren't driving. The only thing that keeps you on the bike is your weight and your grip. The gear is heavy and constricting. Sitting up straight feels precarious and uncomfortable yet leaning forward to grab a husband or the tank bag for security leaves your spine hunched and uncomfortable. The balance of the bike is determined by the passenger as much as the driver so you can't completely tune out. You need to lean into the pavement during turns, a very counter-intuitive movement to lean toward the ground!

Today with the girls at my parent's, we rode from Simi to Malibu, taking Topanga Canyon out and Malibu Canyon back in and then the freeways back to Simi. I felt sore at times, experienced motion-sickness in the hills, but ultimately found some peace.

I should mention I am not sure I want to get better on the bike. A part of me does it to try to spend time with my husband at something he loves and a part of me does it to confront my fears. I think facing some of my major fears is good for me and this activity challenges many of my lifelong fears: my fear of doing things when I have little or no control, my fear of crashing and burning, my fear of heights (at least on those mountain roads), my fear of relying completely on anyone but myself, and my fear of speed, to name but a few. I did not conquer these fears today but I did confront them and feel a little less afraid of them today.

Quantum of Solace

I went to see James Bond tonight with my husband. I wanted to see Twilight but frankly was not motivated to wait in line. Quantum of Solace was pretty good. I think Daniel Craig is the best 007 since Sean Connery. He is much more interesting than the boring actors in between.

The movie was pretty entertaining but my husband said it would have been better if I hadn't laughed so much. He claims it was not a comedy but I disagree somewhat. I mean, come on, it was way too predictable. All James Bond movies are. I could not help laughing whenever 007 did exactly what every person in the theater was expecting. I could not help it. I did not mean to be annoying. Oh well, we were stuck in the second row so I only had a few theater-goers I might have offended. Well, them and my husband.

Goodreads

So my new sort of worthless obsession seems to be http://goodreads.com. It is a kind of social networking site for readers. You can list the books you have read or are reading or plan to read. You can review books and share your books with your friends. I am currently addicted to the site. I am a bit afraid because it really does not seem to serve much purpose in my life to catalog the books I have read over my lifetime. In fact, some of the time, I wonder how many years of my life have been spent reading rather than living. I wonder how that fits into my happiness search/debate. I think when you read you are being a passive observer of life, but some books have given me genuine periods of happiness. A good book can be read over and over and always has something new to give. But is this the same as happiness gained from doing something active? I really don't know but I do know I can't live without reading.

Twilight - Stephenie Meyer

I thought in honor of the Twilight movie coming out I would give my review of the book. I had heard a few people discussing this series. I briefly toyed with joining a book club and heard they were making this the pick for October. I downloaded this book to my ereader and ended up reading it in one day. I then went to Amazon.com and purchased the other 3 books and once they came in I read them back to back until I had read them all. I can't recall how long it took me, but I am sure it was less than a week. I have a book reading addiction. When a book captures my interest I am compelled to read until finished, sleep be damned.

I never quite know how much to say in a book review. I hate to spoil the story for readers wondering whether a book is worth the read. However, I myself love to see a good book synopsis . Let's see how I do.

First, this was Stephenie Meyer's debut novel about a seventeen year old girl named Bella. Bella moves from Phoenix to Forks, Washington to live with her dad, Charlie. In a twist on a new girl in school plot, Bella meets Edward Cullen at school who peaks her interest by appearing to hate her on sight. She observes his unnaturally beautiful family as well. We also meet Jacob Black, an old childhood playmate and family friend, who lives on the local Native American reservation and in time will factor into the the story more prominently in future books. Of course, in time, Bella learns Edward does not hate her and he and his family are indeed vampires. Thus begins a pretty good tale of love between a different type of "star-crossed lovers."

I wanted to dislike this book and I am sure it is far from perfect but the characters were both likable and interesting. Bella is an interesting supposed outsider who seems likable to most everyone. The Cullens are beautiful yet flawed, a strange loving vampire "family." I did enjoy Twilight. I think I liked it the least of her other books, but after reading them all it is difficult to remember how I felt after reading Twilight the first time. All-in-all, I think it was a good introduction to the major series characters, but really a lite appetizer. I encourage you to commit to reading the whole series. Definitely another good escapist read!

Suggestions for Finding that Elusive Concept - Happiness

I found these suggestions for finding happiness or life satisfaction from psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky (Lyubomirsky, S. (2005, January 17). Eight steps toward a more satisfying life. Time, 165, A8-A9.).

1. Count your blessings. One way to do this is with a "gratitude journal" in which you write down three to five things for which you are currently thankful—from the mundane (your peonies are in bloom) to the magnificent (a child's first steps). Do this once a week, say, on Sunday night. Keep it fresh by varying your entries as much as possible.

2. Practice acts of kindness. These should be both random (let that harried mom go ahead of you in the checkout line) and systematic (bring Sunday supper to an elderly neighbor). Being kind to others, whether friends or strangers, triggers a cascade of positive effects—it makes you feel generous and capable, gives you a greater sense of connection with others and wins you smiles, approval and reciprocated kindness—all happiness boosters.

3. Savor life's joys. Pay close attention to momentary pleasures and wonders. Focus on the sweetness of a ripe strawberry or the warmth of the sun when you step out from the shade. Some psychologists suggest taking "mental photographs" of pleasurable moments to review in less happy times.

4. Thank a mentor. If there's someone whom you owe a debt of gratitude for guiding you at one of life's crossroads, don't wait to express your appreciation—in detail and, if possible, in person. 5. Learn to forgive. Let go of anger and resentment by writing a letter of forgiveness to a person who has hurt or wronged you. Inability to forgive is associated with persistent rumination or dwelling on revenge, while forgiving allows you to move on.

6. Invest time and energy in friends and family. Where you live, how much money you make, your job title and even your health have surprisingly
small effects on your satisfaction with life. The biggest factor appears to be strong personal relationships.

7. Take care of your body. Getting plenty of sleep, exercising, stretching, smiling and laughing can all enhance your mood in the short term. Practiced regularly, they can help make your daily life more satisfying.

8. Develop strategies for coping with stress and hardships. There is no avoiding hard times. Religious faith has been shown to help people cope, but so do the secular beliefs enshrined in axioms like "This too shall pass" and "That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger." The trick is that you have to believe them.

Nothing of Much Importance

Okay I got nothing today. I am tired and just spent 2 hours cleaning out the dryer vents because they appeared clogged and the laundry room smells like burnt clothing. I must have emptied out 6+ years of lint. Instead of exiting the vents, it just appeared to have stayed there acumulating.

So after cleaning the vents, I was filthy and had to take a shower and then bathe the girls. I wish I could think of anything to blog about more interesting than this but I am just too tired.

Here are a few pictures of the girls from our Sunday trip to the mall play area:

Brisinger - Christopher Paolini

I finally finished Brisinger last night. I stayed up until almost 2 a.m. I was kind of surprised it took me a week to read. When I used to find a new book I was excited to read, I would read it all in one sitting in a few hours. I guess this is my new reading style -- reading after you have kids just takes longer.

Now for my review...I found this book, a great addition to the series. This is Book 3 in Paolini's Inheritance Cycle. The series is set in the fictional world of Alagaësia, and it follows Eragon and his dragon Saphira, one of the few remaining Dragon Riders, a legendary group who governed the land in times past but were almost completely destroyed by a Rider named Galbatorix and the Forsworn, who all betrayed their fellow Riders by being allied with Galbatorix. Eragon or Book 1 told the story of Eragon finding Saphira's egg and her hatching, his early training by Brom, one of the last free dragonriders who lost his dragon at the hands of Morzan, one of Galbatorix's forsworn dragonriders. Book 1 follows Eragon through his joining with the rebel forces, the Varden, their allies, the dwarves and the elves. The book ends with a mighty battle with Eragon triumphant but wounded.

Book 2 or Eldest follows Eragon and Saphira through continued training with an ancient elf and dragon, the tales of Eragon's cousin Roran, and the return of Eragon's friend Murtagh, son of Morzan, who has been given a dragon Thorn and forced to serve Galbatorix. Morzan defeats Eragon but ultimately let's him go only after revealing they are brothers, both sons of Morzan and Selena, Morzan's lover and "Black Hand."

Brisinger or Book 3 continues the story further. Eragon helps Roran find his beloved and they return to the Varden. We follow more of Roran's life as he fights for the Varden and marries his love. I don't want to spoil it but the author does a great job of showing Eragon's continued growth. We see and learn more of Eragon and his mother and father. Eragon and Saphira uncover more details about dragons and Galbatorix that may be helpful in the future. I found the book entertaining but it did feel more like a long set up for the final book with more disjointed travels and less drama in the final battle than usual. Don't get me wrong, I was still drawn to the story but it flowed less than the earlier books. However, there were some satisfying nuggets of information to add to the satisfaction including Eragon's parentage and his search for a sword. All in all, a good read, but more of an appetizer to the real meal of Book 4.

A side note: Although I loved the Harry Potter series even more than these books, I am always amazed Christopher Paolini created this world, these characters, these books, while still a teenager. This series is amazing for anyone to have created in their head much less a teen!

HSM3 Senior Year!

Together, together, together everyone
Together, together, come on lets have some fun!
Together, were there for each other every time
Together together come on lets do this right!

For those of you without children or living under a rock, that's from the million dollar High School Musical phenomenon. Emma and I saw HSM3 yesterday at the El Capitan in Hollywood. Okay, it is commercial and over the top, but we loved it! It was cute. The music was still a lot of fun and hey Kenny Ortega direction and choreography. How can you pass that up?

I spent half the movie entertained, one quarter of the movie enthralled with my daughter and her friends (more on that to come), and one quarter fighting my urge to be cynical and criticize the storyline (okay come on I doubt Stanford would schedule some honors program for incoming freshman in June so students have to miss prom and graduation, please!).

Now Emma is 7 and I heard her and her friends discussing how hot Zac is but my favorite anecdote from the film was following the first major kiss between Gabriella and Troy. We all heard a major chorus of "Eww!" from Emma and her friends. As I laughed out loud, I also thanked God that my girl is still my little girl!

I love my car!

Okay. I bet there aren't many people who love their four-year-old dented car, but I love my car. I drive a black Honda Pilot. It is a 2004 and it was used when I found it three years ago. Okay, to be honest, my husband found it on Ebay and I wasn't too pleased with him at the time because it was black and dented and he bought it anyway. Fortunately, he was right and I learned to love it. I even kind of love the dent because the biggest blemish on the exterior was not caused by me!

So how do I love my car, let me count the ways:

10. My car is the perfect size. Although I can fit all of our camping gear in the back or fit 8 people, it does not look huge or feel huge to drive.
9. The cargo bay is huge and with all the seats down I have hauled furniture of all sizes and plenty of home improvement supplies from Home Depot. And it still has the beautiful third row seat that unfolds from the floor.
8. I get great gas mileage for an SUV.
7. I love my gray leather seats. They are so soft.
6. Four Wheel Drive. Okay I know it is not a necessity where I live, but hey it has taken me to many rough camp grounds, Big Bear, Mammoth, Yosemite, and I have never gotten stuck anywhere. After sliding all over the place in snow and ice in Mississippi, I have no desire of ever experiencing that again and with my Pilot and 4 wheel drive I have no fear of sliding down a hill ever again.
5. My car has this great sunglasses holder in the ceiling so I always have a safe place for them and they are always easy to find.
4. The DVD player is one of the most amazing additions to a car. Come on, once you have kids you never experience peace while driving. The DVD player has allowed me to enjoy long car rides with some quiet, or the opportunity to actually talk to my husband uninterrupted, or actually listen to music of my own choice!
3. The seat warmers! Oh my gosh, a warm tush on a cold night is amazing!
2. Did I mention the DVD player has wireless headphones for the kids? Peace and quiet in the car, can you imagine?
1. It has this great open area between the 2 front seats that perfectly holds my purse and has plenty of room for 2 cupholders, two power outlets for a phone and something else, a change holder, and some CDs.

So I promise I have not received any incentives for blogging about my Honda Pilot. I just love my car!

Should I Rethink the Happiness Goal?

Happiness has been my goal for 2008. It seemed like a worthwhile pursuit. I have spent years pursuing education, career, money, accomplishments, etc. I spent years pursuing perfection, a pretty futile task. Happiness seemed like something to work towards. I have read the research and been fascinated on the variables we used to think important that don't determine happiness and the variables that do.

Then I listened to a podcast today that has me rethinking my goal. The podcast was Words to Mouth by Carrie Runnals and it involved her interview with Eric Weiner, the author who wrote The Geography of Bliss. He pointed out some important observations.

I might be going about it all wrong. Mr. Weiner pointed out that Americans seem to suffer from the "unhappiness of not being happy." He observed that other countries obsess about happiness less and tend to be happier for it. He spoke about the great paradox of happiness. It may not be something you can obtain. "You can't really chase it. It's a by-product, a very pleasant side effect to a life lived well."

So it seems plausible and I am thinking happiness may not be the best goal. It may be something I can not plan for and accomplish. I need to approach it "from the side like a crab." I looked this up and this observation is by John Stuart Mill, who said that happiness is something that comes to you "by the way in the pursuit of some other worthy end."

Look ma! No tooth!

My darling first born lost her front tooth. It is only her third lost tooth and the first on the top tier. She is so excited. It will only be the second time the tooth fairy will visit as tooth #2 was really lost while on the camping trip from hell last May.

blink - Malcolm Gladwell

I have to say I have crush on Malcolm Gladwell. His books have seduced me and I think he must be brilliant to have written such fascinating books about such interesting subjects. blink is my favorite and the first book of his I had read. blink is about rapid thinking. As he puts it, it is about the thinking you do in the "blink of an eye."

It is about the two seconds we use at first exposure to anything to come to an immediate conclusion. Malcolm Gladwell wrote a whole book about those two seconds, because he thinks those instant conclusions that we reach are really powerful, important, and often, really good.

The book explores those two seconds. What is going on inside our heads when we engage in rapid cognition? When are snap judgments good and when are they not? What kinds of things can we do to make our powers of rapid cognition better?

And I have to say he makes his case, answers those questions, and answers even more questions by the end of the book. He uses fascinating real-world situations and data. I don't want to spoil it for you. I guarantee you won't regret reading the book.

Digging through my crappy day to find something blog worthy and failing!

Blogging every day is much more difficult than I had thought. I had a rough day today. No major crises, just unexpected nuiscences all day long. The last thing I felt like doing tonight was blogging. Yet here I am blogging on my phone at the last minute to keep up with my commitment to NaBloPoMo!

I wish I had more of import to say. I really just want to vent and go to bed. I had many consults today. Thanks to the stupid mandatory fire safety class on Thursday I had to run my Pain group twice as long to make up for being unavailable for Thursday. Then a group patient had a minor crisis. A department patient I did not know chose to have a major tantrum and cuss out the staff outside my office as I tried to leave. I left work about 45 minutes late but add that to my commute back home and to pick up the girls and I missed my pilates class. Too late to stop at store so had to create dinner out of leftovers yet again. The girls were cranky. The husband was distant. The ending insult was taking my contacts out to find my eyes seem to be irritated by allergy or infection. Please God, let it be allergy.

At least the day will be over in less than an hour and we start fresh tomorrow! Good night.

What's For Dinner?

So I am sitting here at karate pondering the age-old question for all working parents, "What's for dinner?" I thought I had it all figured out. No I did not cook or fill the crockpot. I had not even defrosted some protein. What I thought I had planned is my ever popular "leftover night." You know, the night you empty the frig with all the leftovers from the week and let everyone pick their favorite? Unfortunately, my husband shows up to karate to inform me he has eaten all my prized leftovers over the past few days for lunch and midnite snacks! Argh! Now I am back to what the heck can I make for dinner fast with the limited food I have at home? I'm thinking takeout!

Do you Remember Learning to Ride a Bike?

Emma has been working on it with a lot of help from Carlos. She is working so hard and I don't remember it being so difficult. Which makes me wonder just how accurate my memories are! I know it must have been so difficult to learn how to balance on a two-wheeler. I am so impressed with Emma for challenging her fears and working so hard every day to master the bike. I should have taken more pictures, but here is the only one I could find:

True Blood Revisited

So I have been trying to catch up on my DVR'd episodes of True Blood. It is not for lack of interest. It is just a bit difficult to find time to watch when you really can't have your kids in the room.

I still find myself intrigued by the show. I want to hate it. So many of the characters are depraved. But again, everyone is so decidedly complex. The vampires are pretty horrific except for Bill, but then most of the humans are pretty sadistic too. I think I like it for the complex characters and the unpredictability. I can usually anticipate most shows' story lines. I like being surprised. I have to say most of the episode ending cliff hangers surprise me and keep me anticipating the next episode.

I was thinking that the series had a lot in common with the Twilight vampire books. They do have some superficial similarities, but the characters seem drastically different. Although I heard True Blood is also based on a series of books and I wonder how close the television series is to the books. I am not convinced the upcoming Twilight movie will do the book justice. They never do. Perhaps True Blood is more influenced by HBO than the books? I guess I might have to check out the books.

Lazy Day at Home

I took an education day today to complete some continuing education hours for my license. I finished my course in the morning and figured I would catch up around the house. Instead, I spent half the day sleeping!

I haven't been sleeping well and I think my body overrid my brain. I did force myself to get up in time to pick up the girls from their schools and cook dinner.

Ten years of debt!

I just realized it has been over ten years since I graduated from Ole Miss. It seems like yesterday at times but also a lifetime away. The scary fact for my was realizing this week that I had finally paid offmy last remaining student loan. Ten years of payments are finally over. I don't know whether to be excited it is over or depressed over the fact I spent ten years repaying one huge debt. Unfortunately, the depression seems stronger than the excitement. This may be due to the relatively low payment of my last remaining student loan. I am only going to gain an extra $150 a month by paying this one off!

The Karate Kids

Some pictures from karate class. Here is Emma working on a kata and sparring with a classmate:

Here is Sofia working on her kicks:

Wow looking at the photos I am convinced my children are karate prodigies. Okay, now watching them in class is another story. In reality, Sofia spends some classes working fairly well and others talking to her peers, other parents, or dancing around the room. Emma does pretty well, but also seems pretty easily distracted and seems to have difficulty telling her right hand from her left. I am pretty sure she inherited that from me.

Our Next President Barack Obama!

I can't believe I am crying. I never realized how apathetic I have felt about politics, the presidency, our country. It seemed pointless to expect hope in a better future. It is true that when you feel hopeless it is hard to even imagine what hope feels like. However, tonight I feel hope. I am proud to be an American tonight. Not only have I lived to experience the first African-American president, I finally feel we have a president we can respect.

That is all I want to say tonight. I just want to enjoy this new feeling of hope and pride in America.

No on Prop. 8

Okay, I am kind of ticked off that the google ad running on my blog right now is to support marriage rights and urging people to vote yes on Prop. 8. I do support marriage rights, basically the right for anyone to marry regardless of gender or sexuality!!! Do they assume because I am a mom and identify myself as such I am against homosexuality or non-traditional marriage? Hey, live your life and do what makes you happy, but I do support Equality for All!

Karate and Survivor

Okay, I had to share my daughter's latest anecdote from karate. After their lessons today, each of my daughters received a signed picture from Bruce Kanegai, their karate instructor. I thought it a bit strange at first, but later realized that both of my daughters thought it pretty cool. This is interesting since both of them hardly even know the show Survivor, much less watched the season that their instructor was actually on!

Eat Pray Love - Elizabeth Gilbert

I finished reading the book, Eat Pray Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert. I have to admit that I had heard of the book but had no interest in reading until I spent a day home sick and watched an Oprah episode with the author. I found her very genuine and I became intrigued by the book. I placed a hold for it at the local library and when it finally came in, I read it in a few days.

Overall, I did enjoy the book. It really made me think. I am not sure that it helped me through my own crisis of faith. However, it did reinforce some of my recent thoughts on the meaning of life, faith, pleasure, growth, etc. Her writing was very engaging. She wrote with intelligence but also with beauty and sincerity. Every part of her journey made me want to experience my own journey to the places she visited and other unknown places.

She shared a spiritual journey, but unlike other less engaging memoirs, she filled this journey with real people and therefore, for me, the journey was more memorable and intriguing. I would like to be the kind of person who would seek meditation in India, but doubt that is who I am. However, this book made me aware that I might be more than who I think I am at this moment. I like that this book made me aware of the unknown possibilities in life.

Halloween 2008

Halloween is over but we all had a great night. We decided to celebrate with a few other families and we all met at a friend's house. We all brought take-out and ate dinner together on the patio. Well the adults ate dinner while the kid's tried to eat while they played!

We then all went out for the traditional trick-or-treating. Emma was a sorceress and Sofia was a fairy.


Many houses were decked out for the occasion. However, many houses seemed to be only partially in to the holiday. I noticed many houses with candy in a bowl on the porch with a sign for kids to help themselves. I am not sure what I feel about this option. The kids enjoyed picking their own candy but it did not feel very festive.

We ended the night by returning home and visiting our neighbors for one last round of trick-or-treats.

Gearing Up for Halloween

We carved the pumpkins last night. The pumpkin on the left looked a lot better yesterday but he is some sort of ghoul or something. Carlos carved all the details. I carved the pumpkin on the right for Sofia who requested a baby pumpkin.

Another Adventure Guide Campout

I don't have many pictures of this campout. My husband had a business trip so I took both Emma and Sofia on the weekend campout. Frankly, keeping track of a 4-year-old and a 7-year-old by myself on the campout led to very few pictures. In spite of my exhaustion after the campout was over, we had a pretty good time. We waded in the creek looking for frogs, paraded in Holloween costumes, carved pumpkins, and roasted marshmallows over the campfire.

This is both girls exploring the creek:


And Sofia, showing of with a pose:

And Emma helping to carve the pumpkin (which won 3rd prize):

The Pumpkinliner...

Well, the Adventure Guides had an activity to ride the “Pumpkinliner” today. http://www.fwry.com/pumpkinliners_2008/pumpkinliners_2008.html The Pumpkinliner is run by the Fillmore & Western Railway. You ride a vintage steam engine train over to a pumpkin patch. At least that is what I thought I had paid to experience. The reality was a little bit less than desired. The train itself may have been overbooked, but they had few real railway cars and many uncovered cars with those park benches nailed on to the floor. There was limited shade and it was hot. The train ride was less fun than I had thought it would be. The girls, of course, seemed to like it.

We arrived at the “pumpkin patch” only to find a glorified pumpkin stand. It was smaller than the pumpkin stand at our local mall! They did not actually have a patch, just loose overpriced pumpkins sitting around to choose. They had some “craft” booths that were really stands to sell cheap toys made in China. A small Merry-Go-Round, and two bouncers were there for the kids to enjoy. They apparently had Hay Rides, but I was the scrooge who refused to pay them an additional $2 per person for the ride.

I was quite disappointed. I will not ride the Pumpkinliner next year. I only took a few pictures but could not find any of the actual fake patch for your enjoyment.

I Hate Ebay! Well Not Really But Every Time I Sell On Ebay I Get Screwed!

I have to say I just don’t understand why every selling transaction I have at Ebay is messed up. Usually, my main mistake is in estimating shipping costs too low. Then I end up spending my supposed profit on the shipping costs. Anything I earn is never sufficient to cover the time and frustration I put into the auction and shipping.

After I do a sale, I usually remember what a waste of time it is and vow never to sell anything again. Unfortunately, at some point I forget this vow and repeat the process. Don’t they say insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting different outcomes?

Well, my last sale with Ebay was the worst. My loving husband gave me a voucher for a free round trip plane ticket for valentine’s day. I tried to think of a way to use it that did not involved spending more money I did not have. I could not come up with anything. Finally, I come up with a plan. I notice listed on Ebay are tons of these vouchers. I can sell my voucher and earn a good bit, enough to pay for the cruise I want to take for our Anniversary in September. I check out how to list such an item and go for it. During the auction, it seems like a great idea. The bid price slowly goes up and soon it is close to $400. Everything is great until close of auction. I pack up the voucher, go to the post office, and ship it out to her. I want to send it insured but am told I can’t because it is a voucher. I have to ship it registered mail, which costs me about $25, much more than I charged her for shipping. Then because it is going registered mail, it takes weeks to arrive. Apparently, this is the most secure level of mail so it is slow. From this point on, everything goes wrong. The buyer is pissed the mail takes so long. She accepts my item and I have to help her get voucher changed into her name for her use, which takes much time and effort. The buyer books her plane ticket and THEN reports me to her credit card company to retract her payment! So far, I am still out over $400. They buyer has a free round trip plane ticket and continues to claim, she told her credit card company that she cancelled the retraction but papal continues to state her credit card company maintains she disputes the charge. I do not know what to believe, but it appears likely she cheated me and I am screwed. I want to believe in the goodness of others, but with each day, Paypal asks me to repay them 400 and something dollars!

Southern California Fires (But Really This is All about Me!)

So it becomes clear this morning that the fire situation is escalating. In regards to our house, the fires are not that close. However, when you live in a Valley, there are basically two ways in and out. One on each end of the valley. I travel between home and the San Fernando valley every day to and from work. The fire is basically at the freeway I take to work, so that once this freeway and any adjacent canyon roads are closed, the only other option to return home is via the other entrance on the far side of the valley. However, to get there from work means I need to travel to the 101 freeway, which is basically one of the most crowded annoying So Cal freeways to begin with, but now that it is the only option home for many people is twice as crowded. Then I need to take the 101 basically around behind the valley and approach home from the back exit.

I only had one patient in the afternoon at 3 pm. In reviewing her appointment history, it was clear she had missed three previously scheduled appointments with me in a row. I knew she would not come, but I could not leave until after her appointment or she called to cancel. I called her 3 times on her cell and home numbers leaving messages to confirm appointment please if not able to come. Of course, she did not call. Therefore, I had to wait to leave work until after 3:30 when the freeways were already overcrowded. It took me over 2 hours to get home on freeways moving about 5 mph. I had to go to the bathroom for most of the way home, but could not make myself exit the freeway and delay the journey even more. Ugh, what a crappy day!

The Prodigal Husband Returns

Carlos came back today. I was looking forward to his return. For practical reasons, I can’t wait to have some help with the kids. On the other hand, I was also looking forward to some adult attention and conversation. Unfortunately, I arrive home with the girls and Carlos gives them appropriate and enthusiastic fatherly attention but seems to have little attention left for me. Some days I really miss being the center of my husband’s attention.

Life with the Strong-Willed Child

I realized this week that I only have one major thought when picking up Sofia from day-care. Sadly, it is not, "I can't wait to see my darling," or "What wonderful thing did my angel do today?' Instead, it is, "Okay what kind of trouble did she have today and will the teacher look at me with that look and sad nod?" I haven't felt this way in a while. I did feel this way when she went to Pinecrest during the toileting troubles. I eventually realized that Pinecrest had unrealistic rules about toilet-training and crappy teachers who were vilifying me and my child. We moved Sofia to her current placement and overall, we have both been happier.

However, I find those stressful thoughts and feelings returning and I am unsure what to do. Basically, Sofia is now 4. They expect her to listen and follow directions. Sofia does not agree. She would rather do what she wants to do. I don't blame her. It seems to me that most 4-year-olds would want to do that. However, how come it seems like the other children don't seem to have the same problems? A part of me feels like the world has unrealistic expectations for all children due to pressure to educate. Am I the unrealistic one?

Sofia does not have any problems academically. I hear she helps her peers most days. Unfortunately, she does like to climb the bookshelves or the fences. I am just not sure what to do. I want to believe she will mature and grow out of this. I think I struggle with this because I never had problems like this as a child. I was afraid to disobey. I was a follower not a leader. I kind of want Sofia to be a leader and I admire her strength and obstinence. BUT, I am tired of feeling condemnation by teachers. Not enough to really want Sofia to change however.

Life without Husband

I am trying not to feel depressed about my husband’s upcoming business trip. I should be grateful he has had less business trips this year than usual, but all I can think of is one whole week being a single mom. Carlos is off to Virginia tomorrow and won’t return until Saturday. I do think it is harder for the partner who stays than for the one who goes away. I know his trip will not be relaxing but it will involve some down time. Being a single mom means that after an exhausting day of work, you commute home only to go to two places to pick up your kids, cook dinner, supervise homework and baths, get girls to bed, and then clean up, go to bed, only to wake up and get 3 people ready for the day, drive the girls to 2 different places, and then head into work for the whole thing to start again!

Ensenada

Well, I did exert myself today. We actually did a mountain bike trip while the cruise was in Ensenada. We took a bus over to the Calafia Valley and were fitted with mountain bikes and gear. Then we took off with a small group of people and a few guides and rode up into the hills. It was damn hot! It was not true mountain biking. Some of the roads were paved. Even when unpaved, the path was wide and not too rocky. It was actually kind of fun because you could go very fast and the speed was exhilarating. I did really well until we were on our way back and I decided I was doing so well, I would take my camera out and take a few pictures…while biking…and once I realized that I was going a bit too fast and was approaching my husband too quickly and needed to brake. Unfortunately, with one hand on my camera and the other on the brake, I thoughtlessly hit the brake and only stopped the front tire. So I hit the ground pretty good and now have some nice road rash on my knee. In spite of this, I still had a great time.

Just Relaxing by the Pool

Well, so far have done little more than relax and eat. I have spent many hours next to the pool listening to books on my phone. I don’t feel guilty at all. Working to have fun on your vacation is highly over-rated!

Cruising...

Well, we leave on our cruise today. Carlos and I have our anniversary this week. Every year my goal is to schedule some getaway with my husband without kids (although I love my girls I value some adult time with my husband now and then). Every year I start to plan something early in the year that will be exciting and yet affordable. Every year I have a difficult time. This year was no exception. With no extra money at all, I finally realized that the only affordable alternative was the Baja cruise yet again. Therefore, that is why we are going on another 5-day cruise to Ensenada this week. Now don’t get me wrong, I actually kind of like this cruise. It is cheap and local. After we drive to the port, we just spend the next 5 days enjoying ourselves with no major decisions and no driving and all meals included.

Anyway, even though I have been on this cruise many times, I am so excited to spend the next 5 days relaxing with my husband.

More TrueBlood

I am wanting to dislike this show. I already have too many shows I am slightly addicted to and feel the need to DVR on a regular basis. The summer always frees up some of my time and helps my separate a bit from my obsessions so I don't spend so much time watching television after the kids go to sleep. However, episode 2 and I still find myself sucked in!

Again, some of the visuals were kind of graphic for me (I mean they grossed me out!). I had no need to watch anyone actually drink blood or lick an open head wound. However, I find myself being sucked into the courtship of Sookie and Bill. I also find myself interested in the supporting characters too. Does anyone fear for Sookie's brother's life while he is tied to the bed and his lover is at work? I am also wondering about the cliffhanger and the scenes from next episode. Bill seems more like a loaner than a guy with a bunch of crazy vampire friends. So who are his house guests and why is Sookie always being attacked?

Can pregnancy and motherhood make us smarter?

I just received my latest APA Monitor in the mail, which is the monthly publication all members of the American Psychological Association receive. The cover actually excited me with the big headline: The Pregnant Brain: How Pregnancy And Motherhood Change A Woman’s Brain—For Good. We have been hearing about studies related to this for several years now, but it was nice to have validation on the deficits I noticed during pregnancy and beyond and receive some hope that motherhood has other advantages than the more obvious ones.

Basically, multiple research studies document the fact that most women experience cognitive deficits during pregnancy. Studies confirm that women perform worse on memory tasks and other cognitive abilities. In fact, the most fascinating confirmation of “baby brain” was found in a study by Oat ridge et. al. in the January 2002 American Journal of Neuroradiology showing that that women’s brain volume diminished by about 4 percent during pregnancy and returning to normal after delivery!

The Monitor summarized other research showing most of these deficits appear to reverse after pregnancy and nursing. Research also speculates that these changes may serve as a means to allow mothers to eventually exhibit improved cognitive functions. There has even been research to show that mothers exhibit improved cognitive functioning and less memory decline than individuals who have never given birth (well, so far at least in rats).

So being pregnant may make you stupid, but it will go away once the baby is born and this process may help you become smarter into your old age.

Everyone Loves a Parade

My daughters and I marched the Simi Valley Days Parade for the second time today. Well I had the opportunity to walk the parade route and hand out flyers while my daughters were supposed to ride the YMCA Adventure Guide float. We did the parade last year and it was fun but I also had to walk last year and push a stroller as they would not let my youngest on the float.

This year I was excited for my youngest as she was old enough to ride the float this year. Alas, she was kicked off the float before the parade even started. Now Sofia is only 4 years old and her focusing and patience are still in development. The float nazi kicked her off because she would not stay seated. She ended up walking the entire parade route passing out flyers for the YMCA and charming everyone. I think the YMCA should pay her for marketing!

After the fact, I realized I should have challenged the judgment. We were told to arrive at the parade and float at 7 am. The kids were allowed on the float around 7:15 and were told to sit on the hay bales. Then we waited and waited and waited. The parade did not start until 9 am!!! And we were #64 in the line-up which means our float did not start moving until after 9:30! Who expects any child to sit on hay for over 2 hours on a non-moving float?? Initially, I was just frustrated because Sofia does have spotty attention. However, eventually I realized it was unfair to expect anyone to sit for hours on hay.

In spite of my grumpiness about this one fact, we all had a great time. I wore my running shoes this year and I had no pain or blisters at all.

True Blood

I watched the first episode of Trueblood last night on HBO. HBO already has a pretty good reputation for compelling television series and I have to admit like a lot of people I seem to be a sucker (no pun intended) for a good vampire story. I am not sure why we are so intrigued by a vampire tale. I know mine dates back to Anne Rice and her vampire series (thanks to my friend Erica who started that particular addiction). I recently read the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. So when I heard HBO had a new vampire series, I set it up to record on the DVR. My addiction to the DVR should be a good blog post in itself!

Once again, I feel conflicted over my review. I must admit it was a seductive pleasure. The story and characters were compelling, even the tiny glimpses of the lead vampire, Bill. Sookie, played by Anna Paquin, was very likeable. I laughed out loud at some of the dialogue from her best friend in her interactions with people (she clearly said the things most people only think and never say out loud). I am usually a book fiend, but have never read the books this series is based on and it was fascinating to follow the back history (i.e., the invention of synthetic blood allowing vampires to live among us with no supposed threat yet ongoing suspicion and bigotry). All of this even more interesting because it is set in the South with its own long-standing history of bigotry and suspicion.

As I type all of this, I must admit I am hooked and cannot wait to see the next episode (which is only heightened by the cliffhanger of Sookie being brutally beaten at the end of the episode and curiosity over what Bill, the vampire will do when he interrupts this violence). I guess I am not so conflicted. The only true conflict I feel is over my own discomfort with the graphic violence and sex throughout the episode (although usually a common occurrence in the HBO series I have watched in the past). Sex and violence, especially together, are difficult to watch without feeling strange, even in the privacy of your own home. I feel embarrassed to feel that way, but also think that might be a good thing. I am not sure anyone should feel blasé with sex and violence.

The Zahir - Paul Coelho

So I have been trying to join a book club. There is one in my town that meets once a month on a Saturday afternoon. I finally committed to attending this month and yet I am afraid I might still have to cancel due to over-scheduling. This month’s book is The Zahir by Paul Coelho. I am not canceling because I have not read the book. I have a reading addiction actually, so I finished this weeks ago.

I have to admit that I was a bit worried about discussing this particular book at my very first ever book club meeting. I still am not sure what I think about the book. It is supposed to be a book about a pilgrimage with themes relating to obsession, loss, and love. It tells the tale of a successful novelist who appears to have lost his focus and his search for his missing wife, Esther. He cannot figure out what led to her disappearance – abduction, infidelity, etc.? She leaves no real trace other than a questionable relationship with a friend, Mikhail. The husband becomes obsessed with his loss and search for his wife, ultimately writing a famously popular book on love and questionning his life and the varous meanings of love and life.

This book is pretty far from books I usually read. I do not graviate towards spirtuality. I have been avoidant of issues related to religion and God for years thanks to my catholic upbringing. Although I love fantasy, I am pretty grounded in reality. I found it hard to identify with the wife who leaves because her life is empty of meaning. She searched through wars and far away countries to find the meaning of life and love. Ultimately, through no help from Esther, the husband finds her after his own discovery of the meaning of love and life.

I feel as if I am missing the point. Perhaps I am not bright enough to undertake such a spiritual journey. I’d like to think that my meaning of life is the connections I make with other people. That does include my constant search for connection with myself. However, “finding myself” is meaningless if it occurs without context. I want to feel connected to people, my husband, my children, my friends. Am I fooling myself?

I just realized the other book I have been trying to read, is Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, which is also one person’s spirtual journey. Perhaps I need to give myself more time and just accept my current experience of The Zahir. I suspect I might be in a state of growth and maybe in time I will understand more of its message.

Back to School Night

Back to School Night was tonight. Carlos and I left the girls with my mom and went over to the school to attend the first PTA meeting of the year and then sit in tiny little chairs in the classroom and meet Emma’s teacher. I have to say that I really like her. She is young but not too young and she appears to be confident, flexible, and energetic. Good qualities for a 2nd grade teacher. I was fairly accurate in my observation skills. She is due to have her first baby in November and will be out for at least three months. However, she appears to be a good caring teacher and Emma seems to like her so I will think positive thoughts.

The Karate Kids

Emma and Sofia started karate this month. They both seem to like it. Sofia is enthusiastic and loved by all but, as usual, is having some focusing problems. Although she often refused to dance in dance class, sometimes she dances around the karate room. Emma seems to be pretty good. She smiles throughout class and appears to be learning quickly.

The most interesting thing about the karate classes is the teacher. He happens to have taught at my high school when I was attending but he is probably most famous for an appearance on a little reality show called Survivor. Does anyone remember Bruce Kanegai from Survivor: Panama?

Emma starts 2nd Grade

We took Emma to her first day of 2nd grade. She was so excited and looked so grown up. Her teacher is Mrs. Luchansky and she seems very nice but also quite a bit pregnant. I suspect she is due before the Christmas holidays. I can't believe I have a daughter in 2nd grade.

Emma turns seven!

My first baby girl turned seven today! I cannot believe I have a seven-year-old. We celebrated with a small birthday party. Emma had become obsessed with Hannah Montana and Camp Rock over the summer so of course she had requested a Hannah Montana party. The girls made bracelets, put on fake tattoos, and did karaoke to Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus tunes. We also did a huge Hannah Montana piñata (as I could not find a smaller one). Finally, we had cake and ice cream and then everyone went home.

I was actually proud of myself. Celebrations and parties are always challenges for me. They stimulate my perfectionism. I usually obsess over the details and spend weeks planning for the “perfect” party. A few years ago, I realized this had to stop. It was not healthy for me and it was not a good habit I wanted to pass on to my daughters. My journey to reduce my perfectionism may make a great anecdote when I am leading a group of patients and encouraging them to do less and live better, but it was not pretty to realize that I had not enjoyed any of my daughters’ birthdays because I was too focused on achieving the perfect party!

For this party, I worked very hard on making it simple. I borrowed a karaoke system from a friend. I ordered the cake from Albertson’s and Emma loved it because it had Hannah Montana on it. I bought some munchies and drinks at the store that morning rather then cooking all kinds of treats. I already had the jewelry craft and the temporary tattoos left from a YMCA meeting that changed at the last minute. The girls had a great time and for once, so did I! I was able to enjoy the party and avoid being stressed.

Late for Work Again

So I found myself hitting the snooze button this morning. I can't seem to get enough sleep. Alas, those extra 15 minutes did not seem to make much difference in my energy. Anyway, I rush to get everyone ready only to realize I still need to tidy the house in the hopes that the housecleaners will come today. Then I rush to the car only to remember my gas tank is on empty. So that explains why I arrive at work 20 minutes late and already feeling exhausted although the day has hardly started!

Magic Mountain

Well I realized last week that Emma had earned a free ticket to Six Flags Magic Mountain with her reading during first grade. However, I finally read the actual ticket and noticed it expired Saturday. So I decided it was time for the family to make the trip there and saturday was the only day that worked with our schedules and yesterday, we trekked to Magic Mountain.

On the "up" side, the girls had a blast. They enjoyed every minute, even the long lines. And the lines were not that long considering it was a Saturday during the height of summer. They met Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck. Emma went on her first major roller coaster, Ninja.

On the "down" side, the weather was hot and humid, the food was terrible and over-priced, and there were a lot of rides the girls were still too young to go on. For me, there were a lot of rides that Emma could go on, but Sofia could not. That meant someone had to entertain Sofia for an hour or more while Emma went on the ride. We took turns, but it was still a bit taxing in the heat.


Overall, I don't think we will visit again until the girls are older and even then I would still rather go to Disneyland being the Disney freak that I am.

Cindy is gone

Okay, I just learned that Cindy did pass away today. How strange to hear that news while you are with your family at an amusement park? I wish my mom had not left that info on my voicemail. I can't even think of what else to write. She was a sweet loving sad woman who never really saw any of that in herself.

Okay, I just tried to find a picture of Cindy to add to my post and could find none. How is it that you can know someone for 10 to 15 years and have no pictures to mark their existence?

Feeling Sad

I learned that one of my extended family members is in the hospital and is likely to die. Details are sparse, but it is clear her medical problems are the end result of a life-long battle with anorexia. She is only one year older than I am and has a teenage daughter. I feel pretty helpless and sad. Although she has never asked for help and has been in treatment over the years, I still am fighting feelings of guilt. I know you can not help someone unless they want help and my role with her is family not psychologist. But when you spend many years as a psychologist working with individuals with eating disorders, it is hard not to feel like there must have been something you could do.

Livin' It Up At the Hotel California...

So we went to a concert in the park tonight with an Eagle's tribute band. It was actually a lot of fun. We laid on blankets and ate a picnic. The girls ran around with their friends. I annoyed my husband by saying over and over again, "Wow, I did not realize the Eagles sang that song." I never realized how prolific they were and that I knew so many of their songs. I never really went to hear a tribute band play and always thought it would be kind of cheesy. However, it was very entertaining.

The 4th of July

Happy 4th everyone a day late! I have not written so much lately but I think that is because I have been more involved in my life and busier doing things rather than writing!. We had a few friends over for the fourth for a pool party. It was a lot of fun. My goal this summer is to entertain more, especially more casual entertaining rather than saving up for one big event that stresses me out and i end up not enjoying too much. We spent most of the day by the pool and eating as well. After dark we stayed outside and only did a few sparkler's but the kids really enjoyed those.

The Hike from Hell

Well, I realized I never blogged about the last hike. I was so excited getting ready for it. We were going to be hiking San Gorgonio and I would have a good experience somewhat closer to hiking Whitney than any of our other hikes. However, as I arrived at my hiking group's meet-up spot, I hear they forgot to get the permit so we had to change our location. Then they change the location to Fishbowls which is basically not an alpine hike but a very hot weather hike. My gear is all incorrect. To top it off, most of my gear was borrowed and although I left anything I might not need in the car, my backpack still weighed 10 pounds more than anyone and i was the one with the least experience.

So we drive over the Fishbowls trail head, which was still 1.5 to 2 hours away from home. We hike up the trail and believe me it was hard. I was not the slowest hiker there, but I was consistently the second to last hiker. I was steady and no injuries. My ankle felt fine. I did great at hydrating, much better than on previous hikes. the views were beautiful. Everything was great until we reached the summit and discovered....

We took the wrong trail and were miles away from our target. And the trail we took was one way without water and since one of our fearless leaders was out of water, we had no choice but to turn around and hike all day back to car. Our options were to camp out by the cars and then plan a different hike for the next day or give up and return home. They chose home and i was glad at that point. As I hiked the miles down to the cars, I had much time to think.

My thoughts eventually led me to realize that although my hiking group's leaders thought they had great experience, they were actually not so great in leadership. They are not particularly helpful or tactful. This was my second hike with them and neither hike had went well. The planning left a lot to be desired. How could they not know we were on the wrong trail when they claimed they had hiked it before and had a map and gps??? Did I want to follow these people on a more dangerous hike up Whitney? And finally, where was the fun? The hiking and planning for Whitney had begun to be stressful instead of fun. Why was i doing this if I was not having any fun?

So sadly, I have decided not to hike Whitney this year. I still plan to do it, but not with this group. i will find a better group for me and apply for a permit next year perhaps. I feel regret over not conquering Whitney, but no regrets over my decision, just relief!

So this is the sign that helped my fearless leaders

figure out we were on the wrong darn trail!!!!

Starting an Overnight Hike

We were supposed to hike Mt. San Gorgonio but no one seemed to notice you need to apply for permit 3 weeks in advance. Instead, we are off to fishbowls. My pack weighs over 35 pounds. I tried to get it lighter but that is difficult when most of your gear is borrowed. I can't believe I am doing this.

End of Week One at Summer Day Camp

I felt I should provide another update since I was not very happy with the YMCA day camp. Well...after week one Emma seems to be happy. She seems to have made a few friends. I still suspect one or two of the older kids is not too nice to her, but I have to admit that this happens everywhere and she is going to have to learn how to deal with mean kids no matter where she goes. She loves the swimming and is very proud of how much better she is swimming. Carlos is out of town tonight for business, so the girls and i went in the pool after dinner and Emma was showing off her improved swimming skills!

More on Summer Camp

Well, a quick update. I picked up Emma last night from the YMCA summer day camp and she seemed to have had a good day. She loved the swimming and her swimming lesson. She seemed to find a few friends and at least one staff she liked. She proudly told me she put on her sunscreen all by herself every hour. She also told me that some kids were mean to her and made fun of her drawing and she seemed worried a bit about whether she might be teased by these kids if she wore the wrong thing. For me, the jury is still out but I am trying to allow her to be independent and learn to navigate a new system.