The Zahir - Paul Coelho

So I have been trying to join a book club. There is one in my town that meets once a month on a Saturday afternoon. I finally committed to attending this month and yet I am afraid I might still have to cancel due to over-scheduling. This month’s book is The Zahir by Paul Coelho. I am not canceling because I have not read the book. I have a reading addiction actually, so I finished this weeks ago.

I have to admit that I was a bit worried about discussing this particular book at my very first ever book club meeting. I still am not sure what I think about the book. It is supposed to be a book about a pilgrimage with themes relating to obsession, loss, and love. It tells the tale of a successful novelist who appears to have lost his focus and his search for his missing wife, Esther. He cannot figure out what led to her disappearance – abduction, infidelity, etc.? She leaves no real trace other than a questionable relationship with a friend, Mikhail. The husband becomes obsessed with his loss and search for his wife, ultimately writing a famously popular book on love and questionning his life and the varous meanings of love and life.

This book is pretty far from books I usually read. I do not graviate towards spirtuality. I have been avoidant of issues related to religion and God for years thanks to my catholic upbringing. Although I love fantasy, I am pretty grounded in reality. I found it hard to identify with the wife who leaves because her life is empty of meaning. She searched through wars and far away countries to find the meaning of life and love. Ultimately, through no help from Esther, the husband finds her after his own discovery of the meaning of love and life.

I feel as if I am missing the point. Perhaps I am not bright enough to undertake such a spiritual journey. I’d like to think that my meaning of life is the connections I make with other people. That does include my constant search for connection with myself. However, “finding myself” is meaningless if it occurs without context. I want to feel connected to people, my husband, my children, my friends. Am I fooling myself?

I just realized the other book I have been trying to read, is Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, which is also one person’s spirtual journey. Perhaps I need to give myself more time and just accept my current experience of The Zahir. I suspect I might be in a state of growth and maybe in time I will understand more of its message.