The Last Blog Post

of NaBloPoMo 2008 that is! I, for one, am so happy because it was kind of hard. But I survived and I did blog every day for an entire month. I hope I did not subject anyone to too many boring posts. I do feel that there were some posts that were a waste of my time and yours and I am not sure every post was either entertaining or meaningful in some way and to be honest, I'd love to accomplish both in every post.

I am not sure I will continue to blog daily. I think it is a worthwhile goal. Although blogging may allow me to get my thoughts out there, I need to focus on living and many days I just don't have time to blog. I do feel I improve with practice and perhaps in time I can better carry on with a daily blogging goal with better grace and output. But for now, this blog will return to a blog post every few days schedule. Thanks for bearing with me if you have been along for the ride.

Belated Turkey Day

I was trying to think of something meaningful to blog about today and still seem to be struggling. I spent most of the day catching up on laundry and cooking a belated Thanksgiving dinner. I made roast turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, smashed sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, and pumpkin pie. I so wish I could actually cook Thanksgiving dinner but can't seem to make it work with other family commitments so I usually cook my own turkey dinner belatedly. I invited my parents and they seemed to enjoy it but that could be because they were served tacos at their Thanksgiving meal on Thursday (I should blog about that but am afraid to offend the family!).

I want to keep working on my gratitude initiative but am finding it difficult today when I cooked all day, watched 2 kids, and then still had to clean everything up myself. Well let's try...I am thankful I could afford to cook a roast turkey dinner just because I felt like it. I am thankful I have a family with whom to enjoy my dinner. I am thankful all the dishes are done.

It's Black Friday

or the day after Thanksgiving and I just could not make myself go shopping. I did drive to the mall but made my mom stay in the car with the girls so I could run in and pick up our pictures from J C Penney Photo Studio. I did buy a few things on amazon.com (one of my favorite stores). I wonder who actually does brave the stores on Black Friday and do they actually obtain monetary savings that are worth their effort. It sure isn't me. I don't even like shopping when there aren't crowds. I'd love to be able to avoid any shopping trips from Thanksgiving until after New Years.

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! I am full of turkey and pumpkin pie but I wanted to take some time to review what I am thankful for today. Did you ever have to relate what you were thankful for at Thanksgiving dinner? I am not sure when gratitude took a back seat to turkey but for me a goal I am working on is cultivating thankfulness back into my life so let's start today.

I am thankful for my family. My smart and beautiful husband. My bright sweet Emma and my energetic loving Sofia. My helpful and supportive parents.

I am thankful for my job that allows me to help others and support my family with what we need to survive and to thrive.

I am thankful for my many wonderful friends who seem to understand I love them more than I ever say or show.

I am thankful for a comfortable home which helps me feel safe and at peace most days.

I am thankful for the beauty in our environment, the sky, the mountains, the ocean. The earth is a beautiful place.

I am thankful for books. I love them all. They have given me much joy for many years.

I am thankful for Jeopardy. I know it is silly but it makes me feel good when I know more questions than the contestants!

I am thankful for the invention of Ipods, my treo, podcasts, and other technology.

I am thankful for sleep and plan to enjoy that activity right now. Good night!

Gratitude

I have been thinking about gratitude. There appears to be more and more research showing that being grateful or counting your blessings is a more direct path to happiness. I have read the studies and perhaps I'll try to summarize it in a blog later but today I was noticing a more real life observation.

I noticed today that every day I drive my car and I frequently think, "I love my car!" Now, I do love my car but I don't usually have this recurrent thought on a daily basis. However, since I blogged about my car, this fact has changed. Counting the things I love about my car has cemented and perhaps magnified my auto love.

I am thinking about experimenting with this experience and doing some future blogs about feelings I'd like to cultivate. I will share the outcome in time. But perhaps you might like to try this yourself. Blog about someone you should appreciate more like a friend, relative, a husband. Blog about your stressful job. Remind yourself about the good things around you rather than your complaints.

All I Want for Christmas...

Is my baby's two front teeth! Emma lost her other front tooth just a few days after the first. Actually, she probably doesn't want them to grow in any time soon. She seems quite proud of her gap-toothed grin.

My biking babe

We took the girls out to ride bikes again yesterday. Emma is making amazing progress on riding without training wheels. She started the day quite wobbly but eventually had Carlos just running along the bike.

Easy Rider or How to Face your Fears

I don't recall if I have blogged at all on my husband's motorcycle. Bought a few years ago, it has pretty quickly become his favorite activity. Touring is his favorite pastime and he like to take long rides. His most recent was a long ride to Monterey for a business trip.

I am not sure how I feel about the motorcycle. Ultimately, I believe my husband is an adult and it is his right to do what pleases him. However, it does scare the crap out of me. I see many clients with horrible injuries or chronic pain thanks to a motorcycle. I do know Carlos is responsible and and he is not careless when he rides.

The fact that my husband rides a motorcycle is actually easier to live with than his interest in me riding with him.

Now riding on the back of a motorcycle is not without pleasure. It can be exhilarating to feel the speed and the wind. However, you also have NO control. You aren't driving. The only thing that keeps you on the bike is your weight and your grip. The gear is heavy and constricting. Sitting up straight feels precarious and uncomfortable yet leaning forward to grab a husband or the tank bag for security leaves your spine hunched and uncomfortable. The balance of the bike is determined by the passenger as much as the driver so you can't completely tune out. You need to lean into the pavement during turns, a very counter-intuitive movement to lean toward the ground!

Today with the girls at my parent's, we rode from Simi to Malibu, taking Topanga Canyon out and Malibu Canyon back in and then the freeways back to Simi. I felt sore at times, experienced motion-sickness in the hills, but ultimately found some peace.

I should mention I am not sure I want to get better on the bike. A part of me does it to try to spend time with my husband at something he loves and a part of me does it to confront my fears. I think facing some of my major fears is good for me and this activity challenges many of my lifelong fears: my fear of doing things when I have little or no control, my fear of crashing and burning, my fear of heights (at least on those mountain roads), my fear of relying completely on anyone but myself, and my fear of speed, to name but a few. I did not conquer these fears today but I did confront them and feel a little less afraid of them today.

Quantum of Solace

I went to see James Bond tonight with my husband. I wanted to see Twilight but frankly was not motivated to wait in line. Quantum of Solace was pretty good. I think Daniel Craig is the best 007 since Sean Connery. He is much more interesting than the boring actors in between.

The movie was pretty entertaining but my husband said it would have been better if I hadn't laughed so much. He claims it was not a comedy but I disagree somewhat. I mean, come on, it was way too predictable. All James Bond movies are. I could not help laughing whenever 007 did exactly what every person in the theater was expecting. I could not help it. I did not mean to be annoying. Oh well, we were stuck in the second row so I only had a few theater-goers I might have offended. Well, them and my husband.

Goodreads

So my new sort of worthless obsession seems to be http://goodreads.com. It is a kind of social networking site for readers. You can list the books you have read or are reading or plan to read. You can review books and share your books with your friends. I am currently addicted to the site. I am a bit afraid because it really does not seem to serve much purpose in my life to catalog the books I have read over my lifetime. In fact, some of the time, I wonder how many years of my life have been spent reading rather than living. I wonder how that fits into my happiness search/debate. I think when you read you are being a passive observer of life, but some books have given me genuine periods of happiness. A good book can be read over and over and always has something new to give. But is this the same as happiness gained from doing something active? I really don't know but I do know I can't live without reading.

Twilight - Stephenie Meyer

I thought in honor of the Twilight movie coming out I would give my review of the book. I had heard a few people discussing this series. I briefly toyed with joining a book club and heard they were making this the pick for October. I downloaded this book to my ereader and ended up reading it in one day. I then went to Amazon.com and purchased the other 3 books and once they came in I read them back to back until I had read them all. I can't recall how long it took me, but I am sure it was less than a week. I have a book reading addiction. When a book captures my interest I am compelled to read until finished, sleep be damned.

I never quite know how much to say in a book review. I hate to spoil the story for readers wondering whether a book is worth the read. However, I myself love to see a good book synopsis . Let's see how I do.

First, this was Stephenie Meyer's debut novel about a seventeen year old girl named Bella. Bella moves from Phoenix to Forks, Washington to live with her dad, Charlie. In a twist on a new girl in school plot, Bella meets Edward Cullen at school who peaks her interest by appearing to hate her on sight. She observes his unnaturally beautiful family as well. We also meet Jacob Black, an old childhood playmate and family friend, who lives on the local Native American reservation and in time will factor into the the story more prominently in future books. Of course, in time, Bella learns Edward does not hate her and he and his family are indeed vampires. Thus begins a pretty good tale of love between a different type of "star-crossed lovers."

I wanted to dislike this book and I am sure it is far from perfect but the characters were both likable and interesting. Bella is an interesting supposed outsider who seems likable to most everyone. The Cullens are beautiful yet flawed, a strange loving vampire "family." I did enjoy Twilight. I think I liked it the least of her other books, but after reading them all it is difficult to remember how I felt after reading Twilight the first time. All-in-all, I think it was a good introduction to the major series characters, but really a lite appetizer. I encourage you to commit to reading the whole series. Definitely another good escapist read!

Suggestions for Finding that Elusive Concept - Happiness

I found these suggestions for finding happiness or life satisfaction from psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky (Lyubomirsky, S. (2005, January 17). Eight steps toward a more satisfying life. Time, 165, A8-A9.).

1. Count your blessings. One way to do this is with a "gratitude journal" in which you write down three to five things for which you are currently thankful—from the mundane (your peonies are in bloom) to the magnificent (a child's first steps). Do this once a week, say, on Sunday night. Keep it fresh by varying your entries as much as possible.

2. Practice acts of kindness. These should be both random (let that harried mom go ahead of you in the checkout line) and systematic (bring Sunday supper to an elderly neighbor). Being kind to others, whether friends or strangers, triggers a cascade of positive effects—it makes you feel generous and capable, gives you a greater sense of connection with others and wins you smiles, approval and reciprocated kindness—all happiness boosters.

3. Savor life's joys. Pay close attention to momentary pleasures and wonders. Focus on the sweetness of a ripe strawberry or the warmth of the sun when you step out from the shade. Some psychologists suggest taking "mental photographs" of pleasurable moments to review in less happy times.

4. Thank a mentor. If there's someone whom you owe a debt of gratitude for guiding you at one of life's crossroads, don't wait to express your appreciation—in detail and, if possible, in person. 5. Learn to forgive. Let go of anger and resentment by writing a letter of forgiveness to a person who has hurt or wronged you. Inability to forgive is associated with persistent rumination or dwelling on revenge, while forgiving allows you to move on.

6. Invest time and energy in friends and family. Where you live, how much money you make, your job title and even your health have surprisingly
small effects on your satisfaction with life. The biggest factor appears to be strong personal relationships.

7. Take care of your body. Getting plenty of sleep, exercising, stretching, smiling and laughing can all enhance your mood in the short term. Practiced regularly, they can help make your daily life more satisfying.

8. Develop strategies for coping with stress and hardships. There is no avoiding hard times. Religious faith has been shown to help people cope, but so do the secular beliefs enshrined in axioms like "This too shall pass" and "That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger." The trick is that you have to believe them.

Nothing of Much Importance

Okay I got nothing today. I am tired and just spent 2 hours cleaning out the dryer vents because they appeared clogged and the laundry room smells like burnt clothing. I must have emptied out 6+ years of lint. Instead of exiting the vents, it just appeared to have stayed there acumulating.

So after cleaning the vents, I was filthy and had to take a shower and then bathe the girls. I wish I could think of anything to blog about more interesting than this but I am just too tired.

Here are a few pictures of the girls from our Sunday trip to the mall play area:

Brisinger - Christopher Paolini

I finally finished Brisinger last night. I stayed up until almost 2 a.m. I was kind of surprised it took me a week to read. When I used to find a new book I was excited to read, I would read it all in one sitting in a few hours. I guess this is my new reading style -- reading after you have kids just takes longer.

Now for my review...I found this book, a great addition to the series. This is Book 3 in Paolini's Inheritance Cycle. The series is set in the fictional world of Alagaësia, and it follows Eragon and his dragon Saphira, one of the few remaining Dragon Riders, a legendary group who governed the land in times past but were almost completely destroyed by a Rider named Galbatorix and the Forsworn, who all betrayed their fellow Riders by being allied with Galbatorix. Eragon or Book 1 told the story of Eragon finding Saphira's egg and her hatching, his early training by Brom, one of the last free dragonriders who lost his dragon at the hands of Morzan, one of Galbatorix's forsworn dragonriders. Book 1 follows Eragon through his joining with the rebel forces, the Varden, their allies, the dwarves and the elves. The book ends with a mighty battle with Eragon triumphant but wounded.

Book 2 or Eldest follows Eragon and Saphira through continued training with an ancient elf and dragon, the tales of Eragon's cousin Roran, and the return of Eragon's friend Murtagh, son of Morzan, who has been given a dragon Thorn and forced to serve Galbatorix. Morzan defeats Eragon but ultimately let's him go only after revealing they are brothers, both sons of Morzan and Selena, Morzan's lover and "Black Hand."

Brisinger or Book 3 continues the story further. Eragon helps Roran find his beloved and they return to the Varden. We follow more of Roran's life as he fights for the Varden and marries his love. I don't want to spoil it but the author does a great job of showing Eragon's continued growth. We see and learn more of Eragon and his mother and father. Eragon and Saphira uncover more details about dragons and Galbatorix that may be helpful in the future. I found the book entertaining but it did feel more like a long set up for the final book with more disjointed travels and less drama in the final battle than usual. Don't get me wrong, I was still drawn to the story but it flowed less than the earlier books. However, there were some satisfying nuggets of information to add to the satisfaction including Eragon's parentage and his search for a sword. All in all, a good read, but more of an appetizer to the real meal of Book 4.

A side note: Although I loved the Harry Potter series even more than these books, I am always amazed Christopher Paolini created this world, these characters, these books, while still a teenager. This series is amazing for anyone to have created in their head much less a teen!

HSM3 Senior Year!

Together, together, together everyone
Together, together, come on lets have some fun!
Together, were there for each other every time
Together together come on lets do this right!

For those of you without children or living under a rock, that's from the million dollar High School Musical phenomenon. Emma and I saw HSM3 yesterday at the El Capitan in Hollywood. Okay, it is commercial and over the top, but we loved it! It was cute. The music was still a lot of fun and hey Kenny Ortega direction and choreography. How can you pass that up?

I spent half the movie entertained, one quarter of the movie enthralled with my daughter and her friends (more on that to come), and one quarter fighting my urge to be cynical and criticize the storyline (okay come on I doubt Stanford would schedule some honors program for incoming freshman in June so students have to miss prom and graduation, please!).

Now Emma is 7 and I heard her and her friends discussing how hot Zac is but my favorite anecdote from the film was following the first major kiss between Gabriella and Troy. We all heard a major chorus of "Eww!" from Emma and her friends. As I laughed out loud, I also thanked God that my girl is still my little girl!

I love my car!

Okay. I bet there aren't many people who love their four-year-old dented car, but I love my car. I drive a black Honda Pilot. It is a 2004 and it was used when I found it three years ago. Okay, to be honest, my husband found it on Ebay and I wasn't too pleased with him at the time because it was black and dented and he bought it anyway. Fortunately, he was right and I learned to love it. I even kind of love the dent because the biggest blemish on the exterior was not caused by me!

So how do I love my car, let me count the ways:

10. My car is the perfect size. Although I can fit all of our camping gear in the back or fit 8 people, it does not look huge or feel huge to drive.
9. The cargo bay is huge and with all the seats down I have hauled furniture of all sizes and plenty of home improvement supplies from Home Depot. And it still has the beautiful third row seat that unfolds from the floor.
8. I get great gas mileage for an SUV.
7. I love my gray leather seats. They are so soft.
6. Four Wheel Drive. Okay I know it is not a necessity where I live, but hey it has taken me to many rough camp grounds, Big Bear, Mammoth, Yosemite, and I have never gotten stuck anywhere. After sliding all over the place in snow and ice in Mississippi, I have no desire of ever experiencing that again and with my Pilot and 4 wheel drive I have no fear of sliding down a hill ever again.
5. My car has this great sunglasses holder in the ceiling so I always have a safe place for them and they are always easy to find.
4. The DVD player is one of the most amazing additions to a car. Come on, once you have kids you never experience peace while driving. The DVD player has allowed me to enjoy long car rides with some quiet, or the opportunity to actually talk to my husband uninterrupted, or actually listen to music of my own choice!
3. The seat warmers! Oh my gosh, a warm tush on a cold night is amazing!
2. Did I mention the DVD player has wireless headphones for the kids? Peace and quiet in the car, can you imagine?
1. It has this great open area between the 2 front seats that perfectly holds my purse and has plenty of room for 2 cupholders, two power outlets for a phone and something else, a change holder, and some CDs.

So I promise I have not received any incentives for blogging about my Honda Pilot. I just love my car!

Should I Rethink the Happiness Goal?

Happiness has been my goal for 2008. It seemed like a worthwhile pursuit. I have spent years pursuing education, career, money, accomplishments, etc. I spent years pursuing perfection, a pretty futile task. Happiness seemed like something to work towards. I have read the research and been fascinated on the variables we used to think important that don't determine happiness and the variables that do.

Then I listened to a podcast today that has me rethinking my goal. The podcast was Words to Mouth by Carrie Runnals and it involved her interview with Eric Weiner, the author who wrote The Geography of Bliss. He pointed out some important observations.

I might be going about it all wrong. Mr. Weiner pointed out that Americans seem to suffer from the "unhappiness of not being happy." He observed that other countries obsess about happiness less and tend to be happier for it. He spoke about the great paradox of happiness. It may not be something you can obtain. "You can't really chase it. It's a by-product, a very pleasant side effect to a life lived well."

So it seems plausible and I am thinking happiness may not be the best goal. It may be something I can not plan for and accomplish. I need to approach it "from the side like a crab." I looked this up and this observation is by John Stuart Mill, who said that happiness is something that comes to you "by the way in the pursuit of some other worthy end."

Look ma! No tooth!

My darling first born lost her front tooth. It is only her third lost tooth and the first on the top tier. She is so excited. It will only be the second time the tooth fairy will visit as tooth #2 was really lost while on the camping trip from hell last May.

blink - Malcolm Gladwell

I have to say I have crush on Malcolm Gladwell. His books have seduced me and I think he must be brilliant to have written such fascinating books about such interesting subjects. blink is my favorite and the first book of his I had read. blink is about rapid thinking. As he puts it, it is about the thinking you do in the "blink of an eye."

It is about the two seconds we use at first exposure to anything to come to an immediate conclusion. Malcolm Gladwell wrote a whole book about those two seconds, because he thinks those instant conclusions that we reach are really powerful, important, and often, really good.

The book explores those two seconds. What is going on inside our heads when we engage in rapid cognition? When are snap judgments good and when are they not? What kinds of things can we do to make our powers of rapid cognition better?

And I have to say he makes his case, answers those questions, and answers even more questions by the end of the book. He uses fascinating real-world situations and data. I don't want to spoil it for you. I guarantee you won't regret reading the book.

Digging through my crappy day to find something blog worthy and failing!

Blogging every day is much more difficult than I had thought. I had a rough day today. No major crises, just unexpected nuiscences all day long. The last thing I felt like doing tonight was blogging. Yet here I am blogging on my phone at the last minute to keep up with my commitment to NaBloPoMo!

I wish I had more of import to say. I really just want to vent and go to bed. I had many consults today. Thanks to the stupid mandatory fire safety class on Thursday I had to run my Pain group twice as long to make up for being unavailable for Thursday. Then a group patient had a minor crisis. A department patient I did not know chose to have a major tantrum and cuss out the staff outside my office as I tried to leave. I left work about 45 minutes late but add that to my commute back home and to pick up the girls and I missed my pilates class. Too late to stop at store so had to create dinner out of leftovers yet again. The girls were cranky. The husband was distant. The ending insult was taking my contacts out to find my eyes seem to be irritated by allergy or infection. Please God, let it be allergy.

At least the day will be over in less than an hour and we start fresh tomorrow! Good night.