Easy Rider or How to Face your Fears

I don't recall if I have blogged at all on my husband's motorcycle. Bought a few years ago, it has pretty quickly become his favorite activity. Touring is his favorite pastime and he like to take long rides. His most recent was a long ride to Monterey for a business trip.

I am not sure how I feel about the motorcycle. Ultimately, I believe my husband is an adult and it is his right to do what pleases him. However, it does scare the crap out of me. I see many clients with horrible injuries or chronic pain thanks to a motorcycle. I do know Carlos is responsible and and he is not careless when he rides.

The fact that my husband rides a motorcycle is actually easier to live with than his interest in me riding with him.

Now riding on the back of a motorcycle is not without pleasure. It can be exhilarating to feel the speed and the wind. However, you also have NO control. You aren't driving. The only thing that keeps you on the bike is your weight and your grip. The gear is heavy and constricting. Sitting up straight feels precarious and uncomfortable yet leaning forward to grab a husband or the tank bag for security leaves your spine hunched and uncomfortable. The balance of the bike is determined by the passenger as much as the driver so you can't completely tune out. You need to lean into the pavement during turns, a very counter-intuitive movement to lean toward the ground!

Today with the girls at my parent's, we rode from Simi to Malibu, taking Topanga Canyon out and Malibu Canyon back in and then the freeways back to Simi. I felt sore at times, experienced motion-sickness in the hills, but ultimately found some peace.

I should mention I am not sure I want to get better on the bike. A part of me does it to try to spend time with my husband at something he loves and a part of me does it to confront my fears. I think facing some of my major fears is good for me and this activity challenges many of my lifelong fears: my fear of doing things when I have little or no control, my fear of crashing and burning, my fear of heights (at least on those mountain roads), my fear of relying completely on anyone but myself, and my fear of speed, to name but a few. I did not conquer these fears today but I did confront them and feel a little less afraid of them today.