Emma starts 2nd Grade

We took Emma to her first day of 2nd grade. She was so excited and looked so grown up. Her teacher is Mrs. Luchansky and she seems very nice but also quite a bit pregnant. I suspect she is due before the Christmas holidays. I can't believe I have a daughter in 2nd grade.

Emma turns seven!

My first baby girl turned seven today! I cannot believe I have a seven-year-old. We celebrated with a small birthday party. Emma had become obsessed with Hannah Montana and Camp Rock over the summer so of course she had requested a Hannah Montana party. The girls made bracelets, put on fake tattoos, and did karaoke to Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus tunes. We also did a huge Hannah Montana piñata (as I could not find a smaller one). Finally, we had cake and ice cream and then everyone went home.

I was actually proud of myself. Celebrations and parties are always challenges for me. They stimulate my perfectionism. I usually obsess over the details and spend weeks planning for the “perfect” party. A few years ago, I realized this had to stop. It was not healthy for me and it was not a good habit I wanted to pass on to my daughters. My journey to reduce my perfectionism may make a great anecdote when I am leading a group of patients and encouraging them to do less and live better, but it was not pretty to realize that I had not enjoyed any of my daughters’ birthdays because I was too focused on achieving the perfect party!

For this party, I worked very hard on making it simple. I borrowed a karaoke system from a friend. I ordered the cake from Albertson’s and Emma loved it because it had Hannah Montana on it. I bought some munchies and drinks at the store that morning rather then cooking all kinds of treats. I already had the jewelry craft and the temporary tattoos left from a YMCA meeting that changed at the last minute. The girls had a great time and for once, so did I! I was able to enjoy the party and avoid being stressed.

Late for Work Again

So I found myself hitting the snooze button this morning. I can't seem to get enough sleep. Alas, those extra 15 minutes did not seem to make much difference in my energy. Anyway, I rush to get everyone ready only to realize I still need to tidy the house in the hopes that the housecleaners will come today. Then I rush to the car only to remember my gas tank is on empty. So that explains why I arrive at work 20 minutes late and already feeling exhausted although the day has hardly started!

Magic Mountain

Well I realized last week that Emma had earned a free ticket to Six Flags Magic Mountain with her reading during first grade. However, I finally read the actual ticket and noticed it expired Saturday. So I decided it was time for the family to make the trip there and saturday was the only day that worked with our schedules and yesterday, we trekked to Magic Mountain.

On the "up" side, the girls had a blast. They enjoyed every minute, even the long lines. And the lines were not that long considering it was a Saturday during the height of summer. They met Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck. Emma went on her first major roller coaster, Ninja.

On the "down" side, the weather was hot and humid, the food was terrible and over-priced, and there were a lot of rides the girls were still too young to go on. For me, there were a lot of rides that Emma could go on, but Sofia could not. That meant someone had to entertain Sofia for an hour or more while Emma went on the ride. We took turns, but it was still a bit taxing in the heat.


Overall, I don't think we will visit again until the girls are older and even then I would still rather go to Disneyland being the Disney freak that I am.

Cindy is gone

Okay, I just learned that Cindy did pass away today. How strange to hear that news while you are with your family at an amusement park? I wish my mom had not left that info on my voicemail. I can't even think of what else to write. She was a sweet loving sad woman who never really saw any of that in herself.

Okay, I just tried to find a picture of Cindy to add to my post and could find none. How is it that you can know someone for 10 to 15 years and have no pictures to mark their existence?

Feeling Sad

I learned that one of my extended family members is in the hospital and is likely to die. Details are sparse, but it is clear her medical problems are the end result of a life-long battle with anorexia. She is only one year older than I am and has a teenage daughter. I feel pretty helpless and sad. Although she has never asked for help and has been in treatment over the years, I still am fighting feelings of guilt. I know you can not help someone unless they want help and my role with her is family not psychologist. But when you spend many years as a psychologist working with individuals with eating disorders, it is hard not to feel like there must have been something you could do.

Livin' It Up At the Hotel California...

So we went to a concert in the park tonight with an Eagle's tribute band. It was actually a lot of fun. We laid on blankets and ate a picnic. The girls ran around with their friends. I annoyed my husband by saying over and over again, "Wow, I did not realize the Eagles sang that song." I never realized how prolific they were and that I knew so many of their songs. I never really went to hear a tribute band play and always thought it would be kind of cheesy. However, it was very entertaining.

The 4th of July

Happy 4th everyone a day late! I have not written so much lately but I think that is because I have been more involved in my life and busier doing things rather than writing!. We had a few friends over for the fourth for a pool party. It was a lot of fun. My goal this summer is to entertain more, especially more casual entertaining rather than saving up for one big event that stresses me out and i end up not enjoying too much. We spent most of the day by the pool and eating as well. After dark we stayed outside and only did a few sparkler's but the kids really enjoyed those.

The Hike from Hell

Well, I realized I never blogged about the last hike. I was so excited getting ready for it. We were going to be hiking San Gorgonio and I would have a good experience somewhat closer to hiking Whitney than any of our other hikes. However, as I arrived at my hiking group's meet-up spot, I hear they forgot to get the permit so we had to change our location. Then they change the location to Fishbowls which is basically not an alpine hike but a very hot weather hike. My gear is all incorrect. To top it off, most of my gear was borrowed and although I left anything I might not need in the car, my backpack still weighed 10 pounds more than anyone and i was the one with the least experience.

So we drive over the Fishbowls trail head, which was still 1.5 to 2 hours away from home. We hike up the trail and believe me it was hard. I was not the slowest hiker there, but I was consistently the second to last hiker. I was steady and no injuries. My ankle felt fine. I did great at hydrating, much better than on previous hikes. the views were beautiful. Everything was great until we reached the summit and discovered....

We took the wrong trail and were miles away from our target. And the trail we took was one way without water and since one of our fearless leaders was out of water, we had no choice but to turn around and hike all day back to car. Our options were to camp out by the cars and then plan a different hike for the next day or give up and return home. They chose home and i was glad at that point. As I hiked the miles down to the cars, I had much time to think.

My thoughts eventually led me to realize that although my hiking group's leaders thought they had great experience, they were actually not so great in leadership. They are not particularly helpful or tactful. This was my second hike with them and neither hike had went well. The planning left a lot to be desired. How could they not know we were on the wrong trail when they claimed they had hiked it before and had a map and gps??? Did I want to follow these people on a more dangerous hike up Whitney? And finally, where was the fun? The hiking and planning for Whitney had begun to be stressful instead of fun. Why was i doing this if I was not having any fun?

So sadly, I have decided not to hike Whitney this year. I still plan to do it, but not with this group. i will find a better group for me and apply for a permit next year perhaps. I feel regret over not conquering Whitney, but no regrets over my decision, just relief!

So this is the sign that helped my fearless leaders

figure out we were on the wrong darn trail!!!!

Starting an Overnight Hike

We were supposed to hike Mt. San Gorgonio but no one seemed to notice you need to apply for permit 3 weeks in advance. Instead, we are off to fishbowls. My pack weighs over 35 pounds. I tried to get it lighter but that is difficult when most of your gear is borrowed. I can't believe I am doing this.

End of Week One at Summer Day Camp

I felt I should provide another update since I was not very happy with the YMCA day camp. Well...after week one Emma seems to be happy. She seems to have made a few friends. I still suspect one or two of the older kids is not too nice to her, but I have to admit that this happens everywhere and she is going to have to learn how to deal with mean kids no matter where she goes. She loves the swimming and is very proud of how much better she is swimming. Carlos is out of town tonight for business, so the girls and i went in the pool after dinner and Emma was showing off her improved swimming skills!

More on Summer Camp

Well, a quick update. I picked up Emma last night from the YMCA summer day camp and she seemed to have had a good day. She loved the swimming and her swimming lesson. She seemed to find a few friends and at least one staff she liked. She proudly told me she put on her sunscreen all by herself every hour. She also told me that some kids were mean to her and made fun of her drawing and she seemed worried a bit about whether she might be teased by these kids if she wore the wrong thing. For me, the jury is still out but I am trying to allow her to be independent and learn to navigate a new system.

Does It Ever Get Easy?

So, the school year has ended and that is a major improvement in many areas for being a mom. No more homework or school activities to organize and supervise. But, how to handle summertime childcare? I finally decided to use the YMCA summer camp program for Emma. They have an indoor pool and she can go swimming daily. it also seemed more supervised than the Parks and Rec Program that runs her after school program during the year. Today was the first day and it was difficult. I just dropped off my sweet innocent 6-year-old and felt the YMCA was offering limited attention to her needs! She was afraid and alone. No sign of any prior friends attending the program. This morning I did not find any eager staff to help set her feelings at ease. I had to leave her and hope for the best. Am I expecting too much for my $160 a week? This is more expensive than day-care, yet they all seem to provide less attention than a day-care. I just don't seem to understand the system. Let's hope she has a good day.

Yet Another Camping Trip

We just came back from another camp out but this one was less eventful thank goodness. This weekend, my daughter's tribe with the YMCA Adventure Guides had their annual Family Camp. This means instead of just me and my daughter Emma, we were also allowed to bring the entire family if we wanted. We went up Friday late afternoon and stayed through this morning. We went to Casitas Lake. It was clear and beautiful and not too hot. The Lake was amazing. Saturday, our small group of friends left the campsite and went over to the local Casitas Water Adventure Park and played in the tube river and water play areas. The girls had such a great time, hopefully I can find some pictures and add them to this post. I unfortunately forgot to reapply sunscreen on me so I have a bright red nose, shoulders, and tops of my feet!

My Ear Piercing Tale from He**!

Okay, so I must recount the past two days of insanity caused by my tremendously poor judgement. So sometime on Friday, my oldest daughter began a campaign to convince me she needed her ear’s pierced. I should have figured out immediately this was a poor idea, but am thinking that since I have secretly always wanted my girls to have their ear’s pierced so I could indulge in buying more girly paraphernalia I just could not see this for the horrendous idea that it would be. You see, my oldest daughter is also afraid of pain. She has told me repeatedly in the past that she will wait until she is 12 to get her ear’s pierced and I know that was a fear-based decision. Yet, for some reason, I decide to plan a trip to the mall on Saturday to visit Claire’s and explore the ear piercing options.

All Saturday, my oldest harasses me to make sure I still plan to take her. We have a busy day and many tasks at hand because Carlos and his brother are working on the bathroom renovation and have decided me and the girls are at their mercy to pick up supplies, food, and beer throughout the day.

We finally make it to Claire’s a bit late in the day around 5 pm I think. As we enter the store and explore the earrings, my lovely first-born gets excited about the pretty earrings, but then quickly begins to have increased fear and ultimately decides she might want to wait until she is 12. I tell her that is fine but before we can leave, my youngest chimes in and says, “But mommy I want my ears pierced.” Again, I should have seen this as a very stupid idea as my youngest is only 4-years-old and why was I listening to the whims of a 4-year-old! But again, I think to myself, let me save this trip and waste of time by having one daughter pierce her ears and also perhaps help my other daughter with a wonderful example that may change her mind. Sofia excitedly picks out earrings (pretty pink flower crystal ones, by the way). We get her set up on the chair and the employee proceeds to pierce only one ear (major mistake #1, well probably the 4th or 5th mistake by then!). The earring goes in, Sofia begins to scream and cry about the pain! She refuses to have the second ear pierced. It takes me over an hour to calm her down and eventually bribe her to finish the other ear so I never have to come back and do this again! The entire time my older daughter is watching this with growing fear over ear piercing, yet starting to notice that her sister is acquiring cool things through my use of bribery. Oh the conflict! Around this time, I also start to wonder why the employee did not offer to have both ears done at the same time.

Anyway, once my youngest has both ears pierced, her tears disappear in like 10 seconds and she has no memory of any pain. Then Emma begins to complain that she needed me to buy her some treats at the store like her sister. I advise her she did not have to get her ears pierced today as it is her choice, but I did not plan to buy her anything. She becomes upset and then begins to negotiate for treats by promising to agree to have her ears pierced. I should have left the store then, but I fall for it. She picks out her earrings, agrees to sit in the chair and the staff finally help out by offering to do both ears at once. We get ready to go, but my darling girl decides to move and flinch with every attempt. The staff finally say after 20 minutes that they will not finish if she can not stay still, so I finally end the nightmare. Of course, by then,, Emma is mad at me for not allowing her to get her ears pierced (like she was cooperating). She then is more angry when she realizes I do not plan to buy her anything in the store. So we leave the store with a happy 4-year-old and an angry tantrumming 6-year-old. I get to hear her complaints the rest of the evening.

To finish off this long story, Emma spends most of Sunday telling me she really really wants her ears pierced and please will I take her back. (What she really wanted was the potential for bribe booty!) But alas, I cave. However, we drive one town over to a different Claire’s because I am embarrassed. However, we leave little sister at home and the staff are so much more helpful. Emma has her ears pierced in less than 10 minutes and then spends more than 30 picking out her rewards!

Some days I think I truly am a bit crazy.