Why is it so difficult to accept help?

So I had an epiphany today during my massage. I could not really think of anything great for a Valentine's gift so I asked Carlos if he wanted to get each other massages. He agreed but we had to postpone a few times and finally had our Valentine's massages today. I called this guy I had used before for part of Carlos's father's day gift. Carlos thinks he does great massages. I am sure he does, but I had my own issues that interfered. At first, it was just weird to have a guy to a massage. I was a bit shy. Now i am not that experienced with massages, I think this was my 2nd or perhaps 3rd. But the bigger issue was my thought processes during the massage. As I lay there and had my muscles manipulated, I realized that I am just very uncomfortable allowing other people to do things for me. Even if I pay them. Am I weird? I would rather do things myself or go without than have someone do things for me. I realized it is the same with the cleaning service (although necessity and a clean house have helped me overlook my discomfort in that situation, but it is easier to just leave a check for a person you rarely see in person and come home to a clean house!). I like the end result of pedicures, but I feel uncomfortable during with the thoughts that I am requiring someone to care for me feet! Same with the two facials I have had. This is the real reason I have to be pushed to do a lot of things and most i have only done because I had some prepaid gift and was too cheap not to use it!!