Manic Mondays are all about slowing down and enjoying your life. This week I found some words of wisdom from another chain letter. I hate the crap that proliferates my email in-box, but every now and then, I find some of it holds some good reminders of how to live better. This gem arrived from a new-old friend rediscovered thanks to Facebook, Veronica. Here are some good life suggestions that arrived in my inbox today direct from her:
1 . Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Talk to the angels/god/goddesses/buddha/allah/the sky, about what is going on in your life. Buy a lock if you have to.
3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to__________ today. I am thankful for______________'
4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
12. You are not so important that you have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”
17. Forgive everyone for everything.
18. What other people think of you is none of your business.
19. Time heals everything - but you may have to ask a power greater than yourself to help.
20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch!!
22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for__________. Today I accomplished_________.
24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
25. When you are feeling down, start listing your many blessings. You'll be smiling before you know it.
May you be blessed in every way.
Showing posts with label manic mondays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label manic mondays. Show all posts
Monday, April 6, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Manic Mondays - Assert Yourself
For my Manic Monday topic today, I thought I would present some information on ways to be more assertive in your life. One reason many of us find our lives so overwhelming is because we fail to assert our own needs. It may seem easier to be passive and to focus on the needs of others but failing to assert your own needs will eventually lead to problems. If you find that you never assert your needs or wants, you might want to explore the reasons behind this. However, many of us know how to be assertive in certain situations or with certain people, but have difficulty with other situations or other people. If this is the case, please read on for some general suggestions to guide your attempts to be more assertive.
1. Saying yes and no: Learning to say yes and no appropriately, with care to both yourself and the person that you are addressing is a powerful tool in assertive behavior. Knowing what you want is also important. We can often be confused about situations, and may say yeas meaning no; or say no when we mean yes. In a demanding society like ours, it is important to give ourselves the space to decide what we want and how we might say that without hurting others.
2. “I” statements: If you want to get a message to someone clearly, you need to consider how he or she is receiving your message. All too often when you have something difficult to say, you will manipulate the words so that it appears that the difficulty is coming from elsewhere. Using sentences that begin with me, or “I”, is the best way of overcoming this problem. Owning our thoughts and feelings is crucial in assertiveness. Personalizing our statements means that they cannot be disregarded; they are ours and as such are important!
3. Changing “should” into “could”: Central to being assertive is the notion that we have choices. Many people, however, believe that there are too many things that they should do, and this lack of choice prevents them from being more assertive. If you write a list of all the things you should do, there would probably be at least 10 things on it. But think again- what do you HAVE TO DO on that list? How many of those things have come from other people? How many of them are what others have told you that you should do? Now turn the list upside down. Write out all the things that you would do because you want to do them. How many are left? Why are the others not there? Why should you do them? This concept is mind-blowing to many people. But it is a simple one to incorporate into life.
4. Changing ‘know’ into ‘imagine’: One of the things that people often get into the habit of doing is making assumptions about others and their thoughts, feelings, needs and wants. Changing the words “I know…” to “I imagine…” can have a tremendous impact on a situation because you are making clear what is fact and what is fantasy. It is also important not to project you ideas onto others, which is often unwittingly done when we use the words “I know”.
5. Changing questions to statements: It is important to use questioning statements, but don’t be lulled into using them constantly so you do not have to say what you think. Use affirmative statements that start with “I feel” or “I think” so others are clear about where you stand.
6. Start believing in yourself: Believe that you can’t make a mistake- you can only do things in a way that seems most appropriate given all the information and experience that you have at the time. Think about it, if you thought there was a better way of doing it you would have done it, wouldn’t you? Don’t give up trying to be more assertive, each situation is different and a new chance to get it right.
7. See the positive instead of the negative: We have choices all the time. It’s easy to have a hard day every day by the language we use. Try and change the following:
I’ve had a terrible day…The day has been tough, but I’ve learnt a lot.
It’s an uphill struggle…I’m nearly there, halfway there.
I’m finding it hard…It’s not easy
8. Using affirmations: A good way of putting the positive into your life is to create affirmations for yourself. Think about how you would like to be, and write them in a way that suggests you are already there e.g. I am lovable or I am happy with my life. Stick them in places around the house that you will see often, and say them out loud.
9. Assertiveness and body language: How you look at someone conveys how you feel about yourself and what you are saying. People often give their power away by looking away, and defiant and aggressive people show their feelings by directing them straight at the person. Your body language and tone of voice should show you are grounded, relaxed and present.
10. Dealing with conflict assertively: Conflict situations usually arise because of a lack of assertion on the part of one or both parties. Dealing with this takes courage. Most people tend to leave a problem and hope that it will right itself. Rather than taking the conflict as a personal feedback, join with the other person in working towards a win/win situation. You may well find that despite hostile beginnings or personal dislike, a mutually acceptable outcome can be found. Keep a clear picture of yourself and the other person, which is separate from the issue. It is easy to get wrapped up in personal clashes. Take one issue at a time- don’t let people rake up last week’s gripe. Stop them and deal with one issue at a time. Once dealt with don’t let them bring it up again next week! Look and listen to each other- tricky, but important. Be creative with possible outcomes. Find a mutually convenient time to discuss them. Make sure you understand each other by writing them down. Finally, appreciate the talents of others. We are beautifully created human beings, with faults, each and every one of us, have the courage to admit both.
11. Giving and receiving feedback: It is important to listen to feedback carefully rather than reject it or argue. Having heard the feedback decide on its value and the evidence to back it up. Acknowledge it and decide whether you are going to change your behavior as a result. If you feel the feedback is invalid then dispute the feedback positively and assertively. When you are giving feedback, try and think through why you are giving it before you start. What are you trying to achieve? Make sure the feedback it firmly rooted in “I” statements so that it is clear that it is your opinion and not someone else’s. Make sure your body language reflects clarity and direction.
1. Saying yes and no: Learning to say yes and no appropriately, with care to both yourself and the person that you are addressing is a powerful tool in assertive behavior. Knowing what you want is also important. We can often be confused about situations, and may say yeas meaning no; or say no when we mean yes. In a demanding society like ours, it is important to give ourselves the space to decide what we want and how we might say that without hurting others.
2. “I” statements: If you want to get a message to someone clearly, you need to consider how he or she is receiving your message. All too often when you have something difficult to say, you will manipulate the words so that it appears that the difficulty is coming from elsewhere. Using sentences that begin with me, or “I”, is the best way of overcoming this problem. Owning our thoughts and feelings is crucial in assertiveness. Personalizing our statements means that they cannot be disregarded; they are ours and as such are important!
3. Changing “should” into “could”: Central to being assertive is the notion that we have choices. Many people, however, believe that there are too many things that they should do, and this lack of choice prevents them from being more assertive. If you write a list of all the things you should do, there would probably be at least 10 things on it. But think again- what do you HAVE TO DO on that list? How many of those things have come from other people? How many of them are what others have told you that you should do? Now turn the list upside down. Write out all the things that you would do because you want to do them. How many are left? Why are the others not there? Why should you do them? This concept is mind-blowing to many people. But it is a simple one to incorporate into life.
4. Changing ‘know’ into ‘imagine’: One of the things that people often get into the habit of doing is making assumptions about others and their thoughts, feelings, needs and wants. Changing the words “I know…” to “I imagine…” can have a tremendous impact on a situation because you are making clear what is fact and what is fantasy. It is also important not to project you ideas onto others, which is often unwittingly done when we use the words “I know”.
5. Changing questions to statements: It is important to use questioning statements, but don’t be lulled into using them constantly so you do not have to say what you think. Use affirmative statements that start with “I feel” or “I think” so others are clear about where you stand.
6. Start believing in yourself: Believe that you can’t make a mistake- you can only do things in a way that seems most appropriate given all the information and experience that you have at the time. Think about it, if you thought there was a better way of doing it you would have done it, wouldn’t you? Don’t give up trying to be more assertive, each situation is different and a new chance to get it right.
7. See the positive instead of the negative: We have choices all the time. It’s easy to have a hard day every day by the language we use. Try and change the following:
I’ve had a terrible day…The day has been tough, but I’ve learnt a lot.
It’s an uphill struggle…I’m nearly there, halfway there.
I’m finding it hard…It’s not easy
8. Using affirmations: A good way of putting the positive into your life is to create affirmations for yourself. Think about how you would like to be, and write them in a way that suggests you are already there e.g. I am lovable or I am happy with my life. Stick them in places around the house that you will see often, and say them out loud.
9. Assertiveness and body language: How you look at someone conveys how you feel about yourself and what you are saying. People often give their power away by looking away, and defiant and aggressive people show their feelings by directing them straight at the person. Your body language and tone of voice should show you are grounded, relaxed and present.
10. Dealing with conflict assertively: Conflict situations usually arise because of a lack of assertion on the part of one or both parties. Dealing with this takes courage. Most people tend to leave a problem and hope that it will right itself. Rather than taking the conflict as a personal feedback, join with the other person in working towards a win/win situation. You may well find that despite hostile beginnings or personal dislike, a mutually acceptable outcome can be found. Keep a clear picture of yourself and the other person, which is separate from the issue. It is easy to get wrapped up in personal clashes. Take one issue at a time- don’t let people rake up last week’s gripe. Stop them and deal with one issue at a time. Once dealt with don’t let them bring it up again next week! Look and listen to each other- tricky, but important. Be creative with possible outcomes. Find a mutually convenient time to discuss them. Make sure you understand each other by writing them down. Finally, appreciate the talents of others. We are beautifully created human beings, with faults, each and every one of us, have the courage to admit both.
11. Giving and receiving feedback: It is important to listen to feedback carefully rather than reject it or argue. Having heard the feedback decide on its value and the evidence to back it up. Acknowledge it and decide whether you are going to change your behavior as a result. If you feel the feedback is invalid then dispute the feedback positively and assertively. When you are giving feedback, try and think through why you are giving it before you start. What are you trying to achieve? Make sure the feedback it firmly rooted in “I” statements so that it is clear that it is your opinion and not someone else’s. Make sure your body language reflects clarity and direction.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Manic Mondays - How to Ask for Help
As a busy parent (or really anyone today who is over-scheduled and over-whelmed), you may be on your own, but you don't have to do it all alone! Asking for help builds community and teaches valuable life lessons. Begin with these steps, and you'll find that asking for help isn't as painful as you'd imagined.
Difficulty: Average
Time Required: The time it takes to make a phone call!
Here's How:
Let Go of Your Need to Be Perfect
The first step is to let go of the pressure you're putting on yourself to do it all on your own. Look at the people around you. Aren't there other people who receive regular help from friends, family, anyone? There is nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it. Needing help is not a sign of weakness or failure!
Be Honest With Yourself
What is most disturbing to you about asking for help? Do you think asking for help gives the impression that you're not capable of doing it all on your own? Are you afraid that needing help might confirm what someone else is trying to say about you? Are you afraid you'll "owe" someone? Try to identify what it is that you resist when it comes to asking others for help.
Redefine Strength
The strongest people are not necessarily the ones who seem to be able to do it all on their own. Authentic strength includes an awareness of your personal strengths and weaknesses and the ability to recruit assistance in the areas where you need it most.
Be Optimistic
Believe that people around you want to help; because, in most cases, they do. If your friends, family, neighbors and co-workers realized you had a specific need, many of them would jump at the chance to help out. Maybe you've "known" your neighbor for eight years, but she has no idea that you're going through a difficult time right now. Believe that if she knew your need, she wouldn't hesitate to help.
Take a Risk
As humbling as it can be, asking for help can also provide an amazing opportunity to "get real" with the people around you. When they, in return, do the same thing, you may be surprised to find yourself developing exactly the type of deep, meaningful friendships you've always wanted to cultivate. That's enriching, but it doesn't happen without the willingness to take a risk and be real.
Start With One Need
Begin by focusing on one area of your life where you could use some support. Maybe it's getting some help around the house, or maybe you could use some help fixing a leaky faucet in the bathroom. Start by asking for help with one specific need.
Brainstorm
Who might be able to help you with this particular need? Is it a neighbor you trust? A relative who lives nearby? You might think that you're limited to those people who you already know well, or who you have a lot in common with. But take the time to "think outside the box." Who do you trust? Who are you drawn to? Who is one person in your life that you'd like to get to know better?
Ask
Once you've brainstormed a list of the people who might be able to help, call them. If it's easier for you, write down what you plan to say on a piece of paper. Also, you can even begin your request by saying, "I'm not really comfortable asking for help, but I was wondering if you might be able to do something for me."
Ask with a positive expectation
If you are going to ask you may as well not be too apologetic for it. I’m pretty bad at this, I always feel guilty for asking, especially if it’s family or friends, I feel like I should be able to manage it all myself, of course it’s not possible.
Ask someone who you think can say “yes”
For example you may already know that one set of family members are busy at the weekend and quiet in the week. Tailor your requests to fit with other people’s lifestyles where possible, you’re more likely to get a yes.
Be clear and specific
I used to feel that I was nagging my husband all the time to help with housework, but he would counter by saying that he was helping. The problem was that I was being too vague I was not clear on what I wanted him to do and the kind of help I needed. He was always saying that he was doing what was asked, which he was. When I asked him to take the rubbish to the bin he did, although two days later. If I asked him to do some cleaning, he would wash the dishes. Now I say things like “please take the trash out tonight” and “please could you clean the floor in the kitchen and do the dishes." I ask for exactly what I want and when i need it done. 99% of the time I get it. I’m happy because I’m receiving help and the house is tidy. He is happy because he isn’t being nagged. Simple.
Say Thank You
Of course it goes without saying that it's appropriate to thank someone who helps you. However, there's also reason for a word of caution here: Don't overdo it. You don't have to spend money on a thank you gift! Heartfelt words of appreciation, either spoken or written on paper, are sufficient.
Give Back
Lastly, you can always return the favor in other ways. If your neighbor watches your kids two afternoons a week, double a recipe once in a while and share half of it with her family. Keep your eyes open, and you'll begin to see the ways in which others around you could use your help, too.
Tips:
Asking for help gets easier the more you do it.
Start by asking for help in one small area.
If you're more comfortable, suggest trading tasks.
Difficulty: Average
Time Required: The time it takes to make a phone call!
Here's How:
Let Go of Your Need to Be Perfect
The first step is to let go of the pressure you're putting on yourself to do it all on your own. Look at the people around you. Aren't there other people who receive regular help from friends, family, anyone? There is nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it. Needing help is not a sign of weakness or failure!
Be Honest With Yourself
What is most disturbing to you about asking for help? Do you think asking for help gives the impression that you're not capable of doing it all on your own? Are you afraid that needing help might confirm what someone else is trying to say about you? Are you afraid you'll "owe" someone? Try to identify what it is that you resist when it comes to asking others for help.
Redefine Strength
The strongest people are not necessarily the ones who seem to be able to do it all on their own. Authentic strength includes an awareness of your personal strengths and weaknesses and the ability to recruit assistance in the areas where you need it most.
Be Optimistic
Believe that people around you want to help; because, in most cases, they do. If your friends, family, neighbors and co-workers realized you had a specific need, many of them would jump at the chance to help out. Maybe you've "known" your neighbor for eight years, but she has no idea that you're going through a difficult time right now. Believe that if she knew your need, she wouldn't hesitate to help.
Take a Risk
As humbling as it can be, asking for help can also provide an amazing opportunity to "get real" with the people around you. When they, in return, do the same thing, you may be surprised to find yourself developing exactly the type of deep, meaningful friendships you've always wanted to cultivate. That's enriching, but it doesn't happen without the willingness to take a risk and be real.
Start With One Need
Begin by focusing on one area of your life where you could use some support. Maybe it's getting some help around the house, or maybe you could use some help fixing a leaky faucet in the bathroom. Start by asking for help with one specific need.
Brainstorm
Who might be able to help you with this particular need? Is it a neighbor you trust? A relative who lives nearby? You might think that you're limited to those people who you already know well, or who you have a lot in common with. But take the time to "think outside the box." Who do you trust? Who are you drawn to? Who is one person in your life that you'd like to get to know better?
Ask
Once you've brainstormed a list of the people who might be able to help, call them. If it's easier for you, write down what you plan to say on a piece of paper. Also, you can even begin your request by saying, "I'm not really comfortable asking for help, but I was wondering if you might be able to do something for me."
Ask with a positive expectation
If you are going to ask you may as well not be too apologetic for it. I’m pretty bad at this, I always feel guilty for asking, especially if it’s family or friends, I feel like I should be able to manage it all myself, of course it’s not possible.
Ask someone who you think can say “yes”
For example you may already know that one set of family members are busy at the weekend and quiet in the week. Tailor your requests to fit with other people’s lifestyles where possible, you’re more likely to get a yes.
Be clear and specific
I used to feel that I was nagging my husband all the time to help with housework, but he would counter by saying that he was helping. The problem was that I was being too vague I was not clear on what I wanted him to do and the kind of help I needed. He was always saying that he was doing what was asked, which he was. When I asked him to take the rubbish to the bin he did, although two days later. If I asked him to do some cleaning, he would wash the dishes. Now I say things like “please take the trash out tonight” and “please could you clean the floor in the kitchen and do the dishes." I ask for exactly what I want and when i need it done. 99% of the time I get it. I’m happy because I’m receiving help and the house is tidy. He is happy because he isn’t being nagged. Simple.
Say Thank You
Of course it goes without saying that it's appropriate to thank someone who helps you. However, there's also reason for a word of caution here: Don't overdo it. You don't have to spend money on a thank you gift! Heartfelt words of appreciation, either spoken or written on paper, are sufficient.
Give Back
Lastly, you can always return the favor in other ways. If your neighbor watches your kids two afternoons a week, double a recipe once in a while and share half of it with her family. Keep your eyes open, and you'll begin to see the ways in which others around you could use your help, too.
Tips:
Asking for help gets easier the more you do it.
Start by asking for help in one small area.
If you're more comfortable, suggest trading tasks.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Manic Mondays - Tortellini en brodo, An Easy Weeknight Dinner Recipe
I have decided to institute another set top day and today is the inauguration of my first "Manic Mondays" blog post. I have decided that every Monday will involve posts related to surviving the work week without growing crazy. Tips for working moms or anyone with a busy week and limited time to thrive or even survive. I hope to provide information on balance, self-care, homemaking tips, or really anything that will help you make it through a busy work week. Today, I decided to share one of my daughter's favorite recipes. Emma has library day one day a week and for a while, different cookbooks kept coming home. This recipe is a very easy chicken soup recipe that tastes home-made but is really easy to make. Kids seem to like it too. i can't remember the cookbook it came from, but I think it was one by Emeril Lagasse. I found a similar recipe on his website here so this might be the original source.
Tortellini en Brodo (tortellini soup)
Ingredients:
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 1/2 cups chopped yellow onion
3/4 cup chopped celery
3/4 cup chopped carrots
2 teaspoons minced garlic
1/8 teaspoon crushed red pepper
8 cups reduced-sodium chicken broth
9 ounces fresh cheese-filled
2 tablespoons minced parsley
Salt, to taste if necessary
1/2 cup finely grated Parmesan cheese
Heat a large saucepan over high heat. Add the olive oil and, when hot, add the onion, celery, and carrots. Saute until soft, about 4 minutes. Add the garlic and crushed red pepper and saute for 2 more minutes. Add the chicken broth and bring to a boil. Cover, reduce the heat to medium-low, and simmer for 20 minutes.Add the tortellini and cook for 5 minutes. Stir in the parsley, taste, and adjust the seasoning if necessary. Remove from heat and ladle into soup bowls.Garnish each bowl with one tablespoon of the cheese. Serve immediately. This will serve 6 to 8 people.
Tortellini en Brodo (tortellini soup)
Ingredients:
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 1/2 cups chopped yellow onion
3/4 cup chopped celery
3/4 cup chopped carrots
2 teaspoons minced garlic
1/8 teaspoon crushed red pepper
8 cups reduced-sodium chicken broth
9 ounces fresh cheese-filled
2 tablespoons minced parsley
Salt, to taste if necessary
1/2 cup finely grated Parmesan cheese
Heat a large saucepan over high heat. Add the olive oil and, when hot, add the onion, celery, and carrots. Saute until soft, about 4 minutes. Add the garlic and crushed red pepper and saute for 2 more minutes. Add the chicken broth and bring to a boil. Cover, reduce the heat to medium-low, and simmer for 20 minutes.Add the tortellini and cook for 5 minutes. Stir in the parsley, taste, and adjust the seasoning if necessary. Remove from heat and ladle into soup bowls.Garnish each bowl with one tablespoon of the cheese. Serve immediately. This will serve 6 to 8 people.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
